Andy: Why did we pretend like we worked here?
Dwight: Is that what we were doing?

I don't have kids or anything, but if my grandmother ever dies I'm going to kill myself.

Darryl: All I know is if I was a girl and had to choose between a tall dude who loved Asia, and a you-lookin' dude who loved sweaters and wearing sweaters, I'd choose you.
Andy: That's really nice, thank you.
Darryl: And I'd blow your mind.

Andy: I bet he's wishing he had a hybrid, right? 60 miles to the gallon in the city.
Kevin: No, I bet he's wishing he was strangling somebody.

Kevin: Everyone is gonna be there. Angela, Phyllis... even Creed is a maybe.
Andy: Creed is going?!?

Andy: Is becoming CEO of this company your a capella group? Come on, we're going to Danny's bar, Public School.
Darryl: Nah, I got some work to do. I do got big plans at this company.

Kevin: He's like a better looking Andy.
Andy: Thanks Kevin.

Creed: Well I really, really, really liked it.
Andy: Well that really bums me out.
Creed: You're welcome.

I was the artsy, musical one. In Here Comes Treble I had four solos, Broccoli Rob had three.

Andy: Can anyone else name a consequence of sex?
Kevin: It feels unbelievable.

Andy: It's like amateur hour.
Oscar: Well it was an amateur production, technically.

Women can not resist a man singing show tunes. It's so powerful even a lot of men can't resist a man singing show tunes.

The Office Quotes

A little cover up on your adam's apple will make it appear smaller, which will make you look less like a transvestite.

Michael (to Gabe)

Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm...easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.

Michael