The Office

Andy Bernard Quotes (Page 5)

Andy: Can anyone else name a consequence of sex?
Kevin: It feels unbelievable.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: It's like amateur hour.
Oscar: Well it was an amateur production, technically.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Women can not resist a man singing show tunes. It's so powerful even a lot of men can't resist a man singing show tunes.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Andy: You're Ali Larter, I'm Beyoncé.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: We're gay for baseball.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: You know, when I tore my scrote, I was, uhhh, I was seeing this really hot urologist about it and I thought she was into me. But, now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff to bill my HMO. You know. She's touching around down there it's easy to get confused.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: It's Secretary's Day. And, it is Erin and mine's three week anniversary. So, perfect storm! For a romantic gesture. Wanted the whole office to remember it's Secretary's Day. I sent an email blast, a text blast. A good old fashioned talk blast. I sent a snail mail blast a week ago. And, a stern reminder via fax at seven o'clock this morning. So people better step up. And appreciate the crap out of Erin. I do. If it wasn't for secretaries, I wouldn't have a step-mom.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: I resent the implication that I would keep that secret. I can't and I won't.
 • Rating: Unrated

Erin: I think I have to be on my own a little bit, like Precious, that girl from Precious: Based on the novel Push by Sapphire.
Andy: I didn't see that movie.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Erin! I need you to fax this and get me a confirmation prompto. Are you going later?
Erin: Sure, if you are.
Andy: Yes!
Erin: Talk to me like that again and I'll cut your face off.
Andy: Whoa!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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