Angela: Meredith, if you do not come to my party, you will be very, very sorry.
Meredith: Is that a threat?
Angela: No, it's an invitation.
Pam: We have vodka.
Karen: Yes. Lots of it.

I don't back down. My sister and I used to be best friends. And we haven't spoken in sixteen years, over some disagreement I don't even remember. So, yeah, I'm pretty good.

Angela

Karen: Uh, so I had a couple of ideas to make the Stamford people feel more at home. Each year we have a Christmas raffle...
Angela: It would never work here.
Karen: Okay...um, another idea was karaoke...
Angela: No.
Karen: A Christmas drinking game...
Meredith: YES.
Angela: God help you!

Angela: Sure. Let's protect the convicts. At the expense of the general feeling of safety in the workplace. As a 90-pound female that sits in an ill-lit, rarely-visited corner of the office, naturally I agree with that.
Michael: Good.

I don't want to blame anyone in particular. I think everyone's to blame.

Angela

Pam: It's hot in there. How's the naan?
Angela: Dry. You look like you were having fun.
Pam: I am. You should come dance with us.
Angela: I have to watch our shoes, so they don't get stolen. Who were you texting?
Pam: No one.

Phyllis: Isn't this fun? Not wearing shoes?
Angela: I wish some of us still had our shoes on.
Kevin: Stop it! It's a disease! I told you!

Kelly: Um, Diwali is awesome. And there's food, and there's gonna be dancing. And, oh, I got the raddest outfit. It has, um, sparkles-
Michael: Kelly? Um, why don't you tell us a little bit about the origins of the holiday?
Kelly: Oh, um, I don't know. It's really old, I think.
Angela: How many gods do you have?
Kelly: Like hundreds, I think. Maybe more than that.
Angela: And that blue busty gal? What's her story?
Kevin: She looks like Pam from the neck down.
Dwight: Pam wishes.

Kelly: Dwight's a freak!
Angela: YOU'RE A FREAK!

Angela: It's really happening!
Dwight: Yes.
Angela: We can make a difference here.
Dwight: I will make a difference here.
Angela: You? Alone? 'Cause I thought together we could ...
Dwight: Oh, please, don't be naive. But you could be in charge of the women.

I know that patience and loyalty are good and virtuous traits... but sometimes, I just think you need to grow a pair!

Angela

In the Martin family, we like to say, "Looks like someone took the slow train from Philly." That's code for "check out the slut." [swats at a fly] Why are there flies in here?

Angela

The Office Quotes

Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.

Michael

When I was in college I used to get wicked hammered. My nickname was puke. I would chug a fifth of socos, sneak into a frat party, polish off a few people's empties, some brewskies, some Jell-O shots, do some body shots off myself, pass out, wake up the next morning, puke, rally, more soco, head to class. Probably would have gotten expelled if I had let it affect my grades, but I aced all my courses. They called me Ace. It was totally awesome. Got straight B's. They called me Buzz.

Andy