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Parks-and-recreation

Leslie: Ann, everything you have is too sexy. This is actually the dress Julia Roberts wore as prostitute in Pretty Woman.

Ann: I know I look really good in it.

Ann: Also, I can talk about my qualifications for this position, but first I am gonna go throw up in a waste basket.

Leslie: Would you mind if I joined you?

Ann: Not at all.

Leslie: Yellow haired female... likes waffles and news.
Ann: Sexy, well-read blonde... loves the sweeter things in life.
Leslie: Much better.
Ann: Hobbies?
Leslie: Organizing my agenda. Wait, that doesn't sound fun...jammin' on my planner!
Ann: Favorite place?
Leslie: Upstairs there's this mural of wildflowers, and I like to sit on a bench in front of it.
Ann: Really? It could be anywhere in the world: Paris, Hawaii, the Grand Canyon...
Leslie: Nope. Just the bench in front of the mural.
Ann: What about an actual meadow, where wildflowers are?
Leslie: Eww, Ann, I'm scared of bees, mural!
Ann: Okay, what do you think of dogs?
Leslie: Love!
Ann: Cats?
Leslie: Love!
Ann: Fish?
Leslie: Love!
Ann: Turtles?
Leslie: No opinion. They're condescending.
Ann: Describe your ideal man.
Leslie: He's dark and mysterious, and he can sing. And he plays the organ.
Ann: I think you just described the Phantom of the Opera.

Donna: Normally people tell you to talk about your problems. I'm gonna recommend you bottle that noise up.
Ann: That's what my mailman said.

Ann: Wow, that's disgusting.
Chris: Yeah, it's very hard to drink.

Ann: Is this right?
Chris: This feels almost perfect, but I don't think your core has maximized elasticity.
April: Okay, umm, I'll come back if you guys are.. being weird.

I haven't felt this good in years. And it's not just because of the supplements he has me taking and the soluble fiber and the increase in regularity. It's him.

I just started dating Chris, and I don't know how, but Andy is going to screw it up. Andy screws everything up. When we were dating, I bought him a fish, and I don't want to get into it, but somehow, that fish ended up dead in a cowboy boot.

Chris: I had a dream. That she came into this room. Stole all my flu medicine and told me not to tell you and disappeared through that hole in the wall.
Ann: The door?

Ann: I thought you might like a fresh set of pillows.
April: Are you trying to smother me? Help! The slutty nurse is trying to smother me to death with a pillow!
Ann: OK, nevermind.
April: Stay back, slut.

Leslie: Would you be cool doing things that a prostitute does?
Ann: Uh...
Leslie: Minus the money?
Ann: Definitely yes then.

Ann: I don't think I should go out with you.
Chris: Can I ask you why not? Because I thought we had a great time the night you got drunk and kissed me. And... you did use your tongue.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 107 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

Ron
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