Leslie: Would you be cool doing things that a prostitute does?
Ann: Uh...
Leslie: Minus the money?
Ann: Definitely yes then.

Ann: I don't think I should go out with you.
Chris: Can I ask you why not? Because I thought we had a great time the night you got drunk and kissed me. And... you did use your tongue.

Ann: You have two broken bones in your right arm, and four in your hand.
Andy: That's the side that hurts.

Ann: Do you think anybody's going to show up?
Leslie: A) Yes. B) Even if they don't, we'll just put the concert on ourselves. But C) Yes, yes. They're definitely going to show up. Although D) Maybe not.

Traditionally, when I end a long-term relationship, I'm a little fragile, and I have a tendency to do some reckless things. So I need to stay away from Chris.

Tom: We need to do something to distract from this... boring area. Now I didn't want to have to do this but we may have to go nude.
Ann: Goodbye, Tom.

Tom: In a million years, I never thought you'd be the problem with this photo shoot.
Ann: Didn't you just plan this like two hours ago?

Tom: Come on, Ann, what are we doing? Maxim or Good Housekeeping?
Ann: I'm not sure which one is the insult.

Chris: I'd love to chat with you. Can I call you?
Ann: You have my phone number?
Chris: No, you couldn't remember your phone number. But you gave me your phone.

Ann: Hey, Ron. Did we make out last night?
Ron: Good god, woman. No.

I loved Andy. Loved him. Loved Andy. He was a totally helpless baby when we met. I dated him for three years. Now he's an adult with a job. And some other girl is going to reap the rewards of my hard work? That's [expletive].

Ann: Let me ask you something. I'm hot.
Andy: Is that a question?

Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April