Community

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I need Purell for my brain.

It's like prom queen! You wear a sash, and there's a vote, and if you win, they put a crown on your head, and I'm so jealous, Britta, I want to murder you! Aren't you excited?

Shirley: I hated Sam and Diane.
Annie: Who are Sam and Diane?
Shirley: Okay, we get it. You're young!

Annie: When you found out I was Jewish, you invited me to a 'pool party' that turned out to be a Baptism.
Shirley: Well excuse me for trying to sneak you into Heaven.

Mornin' boys. I'm Annie Edison, but people call me Psycho because I had a nervous breakdown in high school. My partner's a Christian housewife.

That African American police chief character Abed was playing is right, we should have worked as a team.

Star Burns doesn't do very much. I guess fascinating people don't grow shapes on their faces.

Annie: I want to be security.
Shirley: Let's do it together, we can be partners.
Abed: That's a buddy cop movie I would watch. Which one of you would be the by-the-books cop and which of you would be the bad ass?
Shirley: Oh, Abed, you're so silly. I'd be the bad ass.

Annie: How much effort am I worth?
Jeff: I'd break a light sweat.

It's just like the Notebook, only instead of Alzheimer's, Abed has ... someone who likes him.

Annie: I'd like to have a preliminary pow-wow, or prelimawow, about what I'm calling our library's back-door conumdrum.
Abed: Sounds like a porno with Kate Winslet.

If this article breaks out, I can apply for journalism scholarships. Nobody will care about my time in rehab if they think I'm a writer!

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 92 in total

Community Quotes

Troy: I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
Britta: Why are you taking that?
Troy: I thought it was a class about crazy farm animals.

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]