Ziva: It's not about a choice it's about survival. She will not stop until she gets her closure.
Tony: We still talking about the lieutenant?
Ziva: Please do not go there. I'm fine.

Gibbs: Where's McGee?
Tony: Overslept.
Ziva: doctor's visit.
Gibbs: Uh huh.

McGee: Boss I'm sorry. I know. I know. I'm an hour and forty six minutes late.
Tony: Forty-seven Tim Tebow. Better put a knee down. Start praying.
Gibbs: Let's go, McGee. Sick bay. Come on.
Tony: I love it when he's late.

McGee: Stan's a good guy. Besides, he knows that Ziva's vulnerable right now.
Tony: Aha. That's exactly what I'm talking about. You see he would use that to his advantage. Swoop right in, like a hawk going after a sweet, innocent, furry little Israeli.

Tony: Well you have got a long list of juvie priors, a history of possessions and frankly a blood workout that makes Sid Vicious look clean.
Wyath: Sid who?

Tony: If Vance is waiting for Robin Williams in drag to come floating on some magic umbrella, singing "Do Re Mi", he's going to be waiting a long time.
McGee: Wow Tony, three movie nannies in one reference. That's impressive.

Ziva: Anything new on the nanny front?
McGee: Not that I've heard. Vance's search enters its second week.
Tony: Which left his agents feeling like a gaggle of nuns waiting on white smoke from the Vatican chimney.

Pitt: My sister's kid. Useless.
Tony: Useless. Well with a name like that, what do you expect?

Pitt: Me, I'm not the coddling type.
McGee and Tony: We've noticed

Tony: Mr. Pitt, you sit tight.
Pitt: Sit tight for what? I just said I didn't kill him.
McGee: Until we know that's true, you're still facing a weapons charge.
Tony: Assault with a deadly Dobie.

Tony: You know, I've been thinking about getting a dog.
Gibbs: He's not a dog. He's a Marine.

Vance: Where is he?
McGee: It's haircut Tuesday, Director Vance.
Tony: Yeah, the bowl should be coming off his head just about now.

NCIS Quotes

McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
Bishop: What?
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
McGee: Yeah.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.

If someone thinks they have the upper-hand, break it. (Season 8, Episode 24)

Rule #16