NCIS
Mondays 8:00 PM on CBSAnthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Bishop: I don't get drunk.
Tony: I'm sorry. I didn't understand what you said.
Bishop: It's physically impossible for me. I tried in college. Can't. Ask my husband.
Tony: There are a lot of things I want to ask your husband.
Gibbs: How's your love life, DiNozzo?
Tony: Huh?
Gibbs: You still seeing the secretary?
McGee: He means Andrea.
Bishop: Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?
Tony: Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.
Pride: Friends with benefits?
Gibbs: Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.
Tony: He just pulled the "this is my wedding gift to him" card.
McGee: Well that's a very nice one.
Tony: I guess it beats the steak knives I was going to re-gift him.
Tony: Such a shame. Vintage 62 Telecaster.
Gibbs: Yeah. Real tragedy.
Tony: Yeah, cause--the dead people are a shame too. It's just....oh look, it's McGee!
Bishop: He's not our guy.
Tony: We should still arrest him for that hair-do.
Bishop: Hey, what have you got against mullets?
Manheim: He still lives with his mother? I want a DNA test.
Tony: Abby's already run it. Congrats. It's a boy. Sort of.
Tony: The little autopsy gremlin is growing up.
Ducky: His whole life is going to change.
Gibbs: Over and over.
All right. Okay. Put your drinks down. On a coaster. And make your way in an orderly fashion to the front door, or I will shoot you. That means you, mullet.
Tony: You're enjoying this a little too much, aren't you Eugene?
Coyle: Just doing my job.
Don't be seduced by his charm. He's self-centered, a one-man wrecking crew who leaves disaster in his wake.
Liz Allen: I think my husband's having an affair.
Tony: Unbelievable. A guy'd have to be nuts to cheat on a dame like you.
Tony: Don't be stupid, probie. I can make your life miserable. Just ask McGee.
Bishop: We saw your father at the hotel with a woman.
Tony: And?
Bishop: And she's very beautiful.
Tony: And?
Bishop: Very young. And, she's very pregnant.
