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Ncis

Tony: Taking the tour?
Ziva: I have my first psych evaluation.
Tony: Oh, yeah. I always loved those.
Ziva: I'm sure. You get to talk about yourself the entire time.

McGee: Thanks for volunteering me.
Tony: C'mon. You said you always wanted to travel.
McGee: On my own time.
Tony: On your own dime? Are you crazy, you could never afford this!

Tony: Come on, computers are your thing! If I had a thing I'd want to show it off.
Gibbs: There are rules against that, DiNozzo.

Abby: You would make a great Santa.
McGee: I guess you just gotta believe.
Abby: I do believe.

I think we've found the entire cast of Hee Haw.

Ziva: These chocolates are delicious!
Gibbs: Hey, dad. Stop making my team fat.
Ziva: Gibbs, why didn't you tell us your father was coming?
Gibbs: I didn't think he'd actually show. Go ahead, have another one, bubble butt.
Tony: It's my metabolism slowing with age.

Tony: Fruit of the month might be good. Maybe a foot massage.
McGee: Tony, I never pegged you as a catalog shopper.
Tony: Well, that's because I'm not, tiny Tim, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I took these from my neighbor's doorstep.
Ziva: You stole them?
Tony: The doorstep is considered a common area.

McGee: It's freezing this morning.
Tony: Man up, chilly willy. Feel that warm blood coursing through your veins. Get in touch with your inner McGrizzly Adams.
McGee: Well I've got hand warmers.
Tony: Give me one.
McGee: No.

Ziva: I'm feeling perfectly warm.
Tony: That's because you're like a little kimodo dragon. An ice queen.
Ziva: Or because I remembered to wear my thermal underwear.
Tony: I'll give you $50 for it right now.

Tony: How many languages do you speak?
Ziva: Including the language of love? Ten.

Ziva: So this is where a redthroat would hang out after being overseas for months.
Tony: It's not redthroat, it's redneck.
Ziva: Oh.

Ziva: Bah hum-bog.
Tony: What?

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 245 in total

NCIS Quotes

You know what your grandpa used to say? Water never forgets. Anyone with a boat named them will live forever. How about that?

Ann Gibbs

[voiceover] Anyone can achieve their fullest potential, who we are might be predetermined, but the path we follow is always of our own choosing. We should never allow our fears or the expectations of others to set the frontiers of our destiny. Your destiny can't be changed but, it can be challenged. Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.

McGee
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