Gibbs: How's your love life, DiNozzo?
Tony: Huh?
Gibbs: You still seeing the secretary?
McGee: He means Andrea.
Bishop: Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?
Tony: Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.
Pride: Friends with benefits?
Gibbs: Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.

Tony: He just pulled the "this is my wedding gift to him" card.
McGee: Well that's a very nice one.
Tony: I guess it beats the steak knives I was going to re-gift him.

Tony: Such a shame. Vintage 62 Telecaster.
Gibbs: Yeah. Real tragedy.
Tony: Yeah, cause--the dead people are a shame too. It's just....oh look, it's McGee!

Bishop: He's not our guy.
Tony: We should still arrest him for that hair-do.
Bishop: Hey, what have you got against mullets?

Manheim: He still lives with his mother? I want a DNA test.
Tony: Abby's already run it. Congrats. It's a boy. Sort of.

Tony: The little autopsy gremlin is growing up.
Ducky: His whole life is going to change.
Gibbs: Over and over.

All right. Okay. Put your drinks down. On a coaster. And make your way in an orderly fashion to the front door, or I will shoot you. That means you, mullet.

Tony: You're enjoying this a little too much, aren't you Eugene?
Coyle: Just doing my job.

Don't be seduced by his charm. He's self-centered, a one-man wrecking crew who leaves disaster in his wake.

Liz Allen: I think my husband's having an affair.
Tony: Unbelievable. A guy'd have to be nuts to cheat on a dame like you.

Tony: Don't be stupid, probie. I can make your life miserable. Just ask McGee.
Bishop: We saw your father at the hotel with a woman.
Tony: And?
Bishop: And she's very beautiful.
Tony: And?
Bishop: Very young. And, she's very pregnant.

Tony: So here's what I'm thinking. You jump on a later plan, and we all go out and have a little family dinner.
Tony Sr.: I love you, Tony.  I love you.

NCIS Quotes

Palmer: I take it you heard?
Gibbs: Mmm hmm.
Palmer: Yeah, she saw the baby and just....I guess she felt the same way we felt when we first saw him. Can't fault her for that, right?
Gibbs: You should go home.
Palmer: I will. Yeah Breena and I, we just wanted to get all this stuff out of the house. You know, we wanted to give it back as soon as possible.
Gibbs: We.
Palmer: Me. She's hurting too, but she is so much stronger. She's ready to try again. And me - I feel like I can't breathe. I never felt this bad in my life, Gibbs.
Gibbs: Well, just wait until it's 3:00 in the morning, and your kid's running 104. You're just getting started.
Palmer: That's the point. I'm not starting, you know? Maybe I never will.
Gibbs: Well then fight for it, Palmer! That's what you do. You fight for your family. And sometimes, you fight like hell just to have one.
Palmer: You want me to fight, I feel like I just went ten rounds with Joe Louis.
Gibbs: Do you want to be a dad, Palmer? Because right now, this is being a dad.
Palmer: Maybe I'm not ready.
Gibbs: You wouldn't feel the way you feel, right now, if you weren't ready.

I am an NCIS special agent. My duty is to serve and protect the United States, and our Navy and Marine Corps across global boundaries. I recognize my badge as a symbol of authority and public trust. I will live my life above reproach, understanding my actions reflect upon my fellow special agents, and our agency.

Tony