Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Tony: Tell me. What can I do? What do you need?
- Permalink: Tell me. What can I do? What do you need? Revenge.
Tony: So help me, McBlivious, if you don't pounce on that hot Israeli action I will never forgive you.
McGee: Gabby's a spy, Tony. Flirting's just another weapon in her arsenal.
Tony: And what an arsenal, huh? That wasn't just flirting, Tim. That was....flirting. For whatever reason, she's caught the mc-fever and you're the only cure.
- Permalink: So help me, McBlivious, if you don't pounce on that hot Israeli ...
Tony DiNozzo: Shabbat dinner?
Ziva David: It is Friday night. But I have no idea what or who you're talking about.
Tony DiNozzo: Just tell him Agent Meatball says "hi".
- Permalink: Shabbat dinner? It is Friday night. But I have no idea what o...
I bet she's a panther in the sack!
- Permalink: I bet she's a panther in the sack!
Male friends only want to sleep with you. Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan, When Harry Met Sally.
- Permalink: Male friends only want to sleep with you. Billy Crystal, Meg Rya...
No name, but Marge Simpson was a regular.
- Permalink: No name, but Marge Simpson was a regular.
Doug: Stop talking to me like that.
Tony: Stop lying to me like that.
- Permalink: Stop talking to me like that. Stop lying to me like that.
[to Ziva] Think about it. First you had your little Miami vice, now Prince Albert in a can. Oh, they can't help it. You're just a walking Israeli love machine.
- Permalink: Think about it. First you had your little Miami vice, now Prince...
Tony: What for?
Ziva: For being you.
Tony: Sweetheart, if I had a dollar for every time I did that, I'd be loaded.
- Permalink: Apologize. What for? For being you. Sweetheart, if I had a...
Dempsey: Who's he?
Tony: Public affairs officer.
Dempsey: You brought your publicist to a bomb threat?
- Permalink: Who's he? Public affairs officer. You brought your publicist...
Who's the new face of NCIS? You're lookin' at it, McEnvy.
- Permalink: Who's the new face of NCIS? You're lookin' at it, McEnvy.
Come on, $22 a pound for rib eye? That's the real crime.
- Permalink: Come on, $22 a pound for rib eye? That's the real crime.
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
- Permalink: Abby's highly-specific rules for dating
McGee: You know something I don't? Working tonight and tomorrow night?
Tony: No, Tim. It's just that Zoe's parents are in town and they want to have dinner. I'm not ready for that.
Abby: So you deceived her.
Tony: I was put on the spot. I was not prepared.
McGee: Whoa. Hey. What are you afraid of?
Tony: I don't know.
Abby: They're probably really nice.
Tony: I'm sure they are. I've just never had dinner with the parents of a woman I'm seriously involved with.
McGee: That's not true. What about Jon Benois?
Tony: No, technically that wasn't me because I was undercover as Tony DiNardo, professor of film studies. I wasn't myself back then. Meeting the parents for dinner could trigger a whole chain of events.
Abby: It's just dinner, Tony.
Tony: You have dinner yet with Ranger Burt's parents? I didn't think so. Then put down the gavel, take off the robe and stop judging, both of you.
- Permalink: Tony doesn't want to meet Zoe's parents.