NCIS

Tuesdays 8:00 PM on CBS
Ncis

Gibbs: Book 'em, Dan-ozzo.
Tony: Nice Hawaii Five-O reference, boss.

Gibbs: The plane's missing.
Tony: It's been Kai-jacked!
Ziva: Did you really just say that?
Tony: I regret it already.

Tony: [after woman fires rifle at the door]: Who do you think you are, Sarah Palin?

Ziva: And what do you know about the American Dream?
Tony: I'm a white male between the ages of 18 and 49 with a gun. I AM the American Dream.

Ziva: For my sanity, can you not call me Probie?
Tony: But I say it with love.

Tony: You seem to be attracted to men who have a hard time staying alive.
Sarah: I'm attracted to men with honor. Dignity. Who serve their country.

Tony: Probies, talk louder, I can hear you in there.
Ziva: McGee has been at NCIS for six years. I have been here four. We ARE agents, so can you PLEASE stop calling us ...
Gibbs: Problem, Probie?

Tony: What's with the sushi bar?
Ducky: Staff Sargeant Cryer's body was not alone on its considerable time adrift.
Tony: Yum.
Ducky: That's probably what they said when they were feeding on his flesh.

Tony: Why do you find it so hard to believe that I could hack that sucker out?
Ziva: You cannot even work your email properly! You always reply to "ALL" - it drives me absolutely nuts! You know, when it comes to computers, you are almost as incompetent as Gibbs... (She freezes)
Tony: Ha! You thought Gibbs was behind you! You know why? Because sneaky people expect sneakiness - it's a vicious circle.

Tony: It's like Alien. The Ridley Scott classic, the creepy one.
McGee: As opposed to the non-creepy ones?

Gibbs: What can we do for you, Officer Bin-Gidon?
Bin-Gidon: I've come for Ziva David. You're holding a member of my team hostage in there.
Tony: Your team's had a rough year.
Gibbs: I think you already missed your chance to rescue Ziva.
Bin-Gidon: Then I'll have arrived in time to rescue her from you.

McGee: I can take care of the video surveillance, it's the K-9 patrol I'm worried about.
Tony: Chillax, bro. All these budget cuts and economic problems, they can't afford dogs. Trust me.

Displaying quotes 193 - 204 of 254 in total

NCIS Quotes

You know what Tony is spelled backwards? Y not? Think about it

Tony

McGee: Gibbs would never leave you out of the loop on something like this.
Tony: He didn't.
Bishop: You knew? So why bother fighting with her?
Tony: She fights back. I have a type.

× Close Ad