NCIS
Mondays 8:00 PM on CBSAnthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Tony: [after woman fires rifle at the door]: Who do you think you are, Sarah Palin?
Ziva: And what do you know about the American Dream?
Tony: I'm a white male between the ages of 18 and 49 with a gun. I AM the American Dream.
Ziva: For my sanity, can you not call me Probie?
Tony: But I say it with love.
Tony: You seem to be attracted to men who have a hard time staying alive.
Sarah: I'm attracted to men with honor. Dignity. Who serve their country.
Tony: Probies, talk louder, I can hear you in there.
Ziva: McGee has been at NCIS for six years. I have been here four. We ARE agents, so can you PLEASE stop calling us ...
Gibbs: Problem, Probie?
Tony: What's with the sushi bar?
Ducky: Staff Sargeant Cryer's body was not alone on its considerable time adrift.
Tony: Yum.
Ducky: That's probably what they said when they were feeding on his flesh.
Tony: Why do you find it so hard to believe that I could hack that sucker out?
Ziva: You cannot even work your email properly! You always reply to "ALL" - it drives me absolutely nuts! You know, when it comes to computers, you are almost as incompetent as Gibbs... (She freezes)
Tony: Ha! You thought Gibbs was behind you! You know why? Because sneaky people expect sneakiness - it's a vicious circle.
Tony: It's like Alien. The Ridley Scott classic, the creepy one.
McGee: As opposed to the non-creepy ones?
Gibbs: What can we do for you, Officer Bin-Gidon?
Bin-Gidon: I've come for Ziva David. You're holding a member of my team hostage in there.
Tony: Your team's had a rough year.
Gibbs: I think you already missed your chance to rescue Ziva.
Bin-Gidon: Then I'll have arrived in time to rescue her from you.
McGee: I can take care of the video surveillance, it's the K-9 patrol I'm worried about.
Tony: Chillax, bro. All these budget cuts and economic problems, they can't afford dogs. Trust me.
[to McGee] That's like a yoga position. Upside down manatee.
Tony: [points to casket] Hop in.
McGee: Why would I do that?
Tony: We take a picture, pretend that you're dead, and you don't have to retake the polygraph!
McGee: Tony that is not funny.
Tony: They already think you're ducking them. It's only going to get worse.
