Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Pendergast: Call me Leia
Tony: Like the Princess.
Pendergast: I hate Star Wars.
Tony: Nobody hates Star Wars.
Pendergast: You do when your name is Leia, Agent DiNozzo
- Permalink: You do when your name is Leia, Agent DiNozzo
Tony: Am I updating the FBI?
Gibbs: No, no not yet.
Tony: Got it. And if Leia asks?
Gibbs: Geeze, DiNozzo. Make something up. She's your girlfriend.
Tony: Why - did she say something? Did she mention me by name?
- Permalink: Why - did she say something? Did she mention me by name?
You know what Tony is spelled backwards? Y not? Think about it
- Permalink: You know what Tony is spelled backwards? Y not? Think about it
McGee: Gibbs would never leave you out of the loop on something like this.
Tony: He didn't.
Bishop: You knew? So why bother fighting with her?
Tony: She fights back. I have a type.
- Permalink: She fights back. I have a type.
Tony: If you think about it, science is amazing. I mean video phone sex. You and Jake ever---
Bishop: Wow. You have no boundaries.
Tony: Come on, I'm messing with you.
Bishop: Did you miss the sexual harassment seminar?
Tony: Every year.
- Permalink: Every year.
Tony: Did he really just say "sit tight"?
Vance: No one's sitting tight. Let's move.
- Permalink: No one's sitting tight. Let's move.
Vance: I'd go with the cat.
Abby: Yes, most of us would, but WMD.
Abby: What would McGee do?
Tony: That's two Ws, Abs.
- Permalink: Whatever.
Man I wish I could have seen Rivera's face when Gibbs laid the smack down. You think he had a little chin quiver going on? I love a good bad guy chin quiver.
- Permalink: I love a good bad guy chin quiver.
Bishop: When my grandma died, it helped me just to talk about her. Maybe you guys could tell me what Jackson was like.
Abby: He gave the best hugs.
McGee: He was the only one that could the Gibbs stare at Gibbs.
Tony: With those icy blue eyes. He gave me the sweater off his back once. White. Two functional pockets. Very soft.
- Permalink: Reminiscing about Jackson.
Vance: Put it away.
Tony: Oh. Excuse me, sir. I'll be right back in. I was just going to call---
Vance: I know what you're doing Agent DiNozzo and I said stop.
Tony: With all due respect sir, I think Gibbs would want the update.
Vance: You brief him, he'll be back at his desk before lunch.
Tony: That's his call.
Vance: No, it's my call. Gibbs needs time. It's my job to make sure he takes it.
Tony: Anyone else I would agree sir, but Leroy Jethro Gibbs?
Vance: Can you handle point on this or not?
Tony: Of course I can.
Vance: Good. Then inform your team, Agent DiNozzo. Gibbs stays where he is. No contact. Are we clear?
Tony: Clear as a bell, sir.
McGee: Abby, this email came through two minutes ago.
Tony: Two minutes is two years in Abby time. You know that.
- Permalink: Two minutes is two years in Abby time. You know that.
Vance: Any questions?
Tony: Just one. Why?
Admiral Kendall: I've been asking myself that for years. Amanda was valedictorian in high school. Straight A's in college. Georgetown. And then she suddenly flunked out. She spent the last two years wasting her life jet-setting across Europe with a group of international trust fund brats, partying in every capital in the continent.
Tony: Well maybe she just needed to find herself, sir.
Admiral Kendall: Well now it's gone too far.
- Permalink: Now, go fetch my wayward daughter.
McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
- Permalink: Abby's highly-specific rules for dating