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Ncis

Liz Allen: I think my husband's having an affair.
Tony: Unbelievable. A guy'd have to be nuts to cheat on a dame like you.

Tony: Don't be stupid, probie. I can make your life miserable. Just ask McGee.
Bishop: We saw your father at the hotel with a woman.
Tony: And?
Bishop: And she's very beautiful.
Tony: And?
Bishop: Very young. And, she's very pregnant.

Tony: So here's what I'm thinking. You jump on a later plan, and we all go out and have a little family dinner.
Tony Sr.: I love you, Tony.  I love you.

Delilah: Since you're all here, I would like to thank you for taking out that evil coward bastard Benham Parsa.
Tony: You know, that was actually the name on the death certificate?

Tony: Having flashbacks to my childhood. Reminds me of Sunday dinners with dad. Stepmoms two and four.
McGee: What should we do?
Tony: Same thing I did as a kid. Keep your head down, wait to be excused, you go to your room and play with yourself.

Bishop: How long did it take you to figure him out?
Tony: Gibbs? Any day now. You'll pick up a few cues here and there, but don't expect an answer key.

Tony: C'mon McGee. Lean on me.
McGee: No, thank you Tony.
Tony: Sometimes it helps to have somebody to talk to, and believe it or not I can be a good listener.

Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.

Martinez: Bishop! You didn't tell me Robert Redford was in the building.
Tony: Come on. I rarely get the Redford. You could be my Debra Winger, legal eagle.
Martinez: I love her.

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