Anthony (Tony) DiNozzo Quotes
Bishop: No, Daniel Coyne is a victim. Whoever else has been targeted is a victim. You're a terrorist, and you're going to serve fifty years in federal prison.
Pace: They're incredible, these weapons I've helped build. You sit behind a computer monitor. Point, click and thousands of miles away, total destruction. Parsa thinks it's only fair we get a taste.
Tony: Wow. Wowsers.
Diane: This is not what it looks like.
Fornell: Right. We were just...
Gibbs: No. I do not need the details.
Tony: I wouldn't mind a few details.
- Permalink: I wouldn't mind a few details.
Tony: Raise your arms. Please. Ma'am. Just remember I have mouths to feed. Two goldfish. I'm their only source of income. They're awfully cute.
Porter: Relax, DiNozzo. I'm as anxious about this as you are.
- Permalink: Relax, DiNozzo. I'm as anxious about this as you are.
Tony: So you got twenty-five pages of national security strategy from inside a breakfast cereal.
Allie: In order to better prepare for attacks I dream up threats that haven't happened yet.
Tony: This dream came true.
- Permalink: This dream came true.
Flynn: Jeff Daniels wasn't in Tron, that was Jeff Bridges.
Tony: Flynn, you are a fan.
- Permalink: Flynn, you are a fan.
Bishop: Actually, I should get back to NSA.
Tony: You're not getting off that easy. Gibbs likes rules too. #45: always clean up your mess.
- Permalink: always clean up your mess.
Bishop: It doesn't make any sense.
Tony: What now, Russell Crowe? Hasn't your beautiful mind gotten you in enough trouble today?
McGee: You ever going to get a new car?
Tony: Well, firstly I never buy new cars. Secondly, I need something that ignites my passions. It's like a woman: I need to be in love before I commit.
McGee: You've never committed to a woman.
- Permalink: You've never committed to a woman.
Tony: Listen, I know I made fun of you in the past for riding the bus, but I have to admit I was wrong. I've been using public transporation and I really like it.
McGee: You're kidding.
Tony: No. I have time to read, make some calls....and best of all, I get to watch people. People are fascinating.
McGee: Okay Tony I'm...I don't even know what I am right now. But I know you, and this is not you.
Gibbs: DiNozzo - check out Olivia Chandler.
Tony: With pleasure. Thank you boss.
- Permalink: With pleasure. Thank you boss.
Lodge owner: I swear, the old witch is psychic. If I have so much as a thought of another woman...
Tony: You don't have to answer that.
Lodge owner: I have to.
- Permalink: I have to.
McGee: Tony what's going on? Do you have a drinking problem?
Tony: No. No, I just....I joined this men's support group. Meets in the church hall two nights a week.
McGee: You serious?
Tony: Uh huh. I know - it doesn't sound like me. But, with the past year I just wanted to shake things up a little bit. Meet some new people. This guy at the gym told me about the group and I thought it sounded like a good idea. And it is. It's fun. The Rev drove me to Quantico the other morning. Interesting guy. He's helping me be less judgemental.
McGee: Rule number 70 - keep digging till you hit bottom.
Abby: McGee! There is no rule 70.
McGee: Well, I--
Abby: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even recognize you right now.
- Permalink: You just made up a rule. This McGibbs thing has really gone to your head. I don't even...
- Rating: Unrated
McGee: All right. Well you should probably know that Abby and I used to date?
Bishop: Ew. Like, each other?
Bishop: Wait - isn't that a violation of rule 12, never date a....
McGee: It was a long time ago. After we'd broken up, one night I went to her lab. Found a scribbled piece paper; a list. Potential boyfriends had to fulfill certain conditions by a pre-arranged date or else, goodbye.
Bishop: Such as.
McGee: Things started off relatively normal: opening the door for her, flowers, putting the seat down. Then around number 8, it gets uh...
McGee: Does she know you have these?
Bishop: Does she know you have these?
McGee: Yeah she wasn't happy when she found out.
Bishop: These are all very specific.
Bishop: These ideas apply to you?
McGee: No those rules weren't in place when we were together. At least I don't think so.
Bishop: What's with the two month cutoff? Abby's sabotaging herself. I've seen stuff like this before. We have to talk to her.
- Permalink: Abby's highly-specific rules for dating
- Rating: Unrated