McGee: It's a voodoo doll that looks just like you, right down to the insincere grin. What's the note say?
Tony: Little Tony will bring you good luck and happiness. That's not funny. There's nothing funny about voodoo, ever since I saw "Live and Let Die" when I was a kid.
McGee: It's a doll. It's a stuffed toy.
Tony: So was Chucky.

Gibbs: Anything I can do?
Bishop: Uh, it's pretty self-explanatory, really.
Gibbs: Did you check to see if that little gizmo there is attached to that other giddy-bop?
Bishop: Mmm. Not yet. You think that'll do it?
Gibbs: If you spit on it. Sometimes that works.
Bishop: All right.
Tony: Oh, come on!

Bishop: I don't get drunk.
Tony: I'm sorry. I didn't understand what you said.
Bishop: It's physically impossible for me. I tried in college. Can't. Ask my husband.
Tony: There are a lot of things I want to ask your husband.

Gibbs: How's your love life, DiNozzo?
Tony: Huh?
Gibbs: You still seeing the secretary?
McGee: He means Andrea.
Bishop: Andrea. Hmm. Who's Andrea?
Tony: Andrea. Oh yeah. Yeah. She's uh, I mean, it's kind of on an as-needed basis.
Pride: Friends with benefits?
Gibbs: Yeah well those aren't benefits like dental insurance.

Tony: He just pulled the "this is my wedding gift to him" card.
McGee: Well that's a very nice one.
Tony: I guess it beats the steak knives I was going to re-gift him.

Tony: Such a shame. Vintage 62 Telecaster.
Gibbs: Yeah. Real tragedy.
Tony: Yeah, cause--the dead people are a shame too. It's just....oh look, it's McGee!

Bishop: He's not our guy.
Tony: We should still arrest him for that hair-do.
Bishop: Hey, what have you got against mullets?

Manheim: He still lives with his mother? I want a DNA test.
Tony: Abby's already run it. Congrats. It's a boy. Sort of.

Tony: The little autopsy gremlin is growing up.
Ducky: His whole life is going to change.
Gibbs: Over and over.

All right. Okay. Put your drinks down. On a coaster. And make your way in an orderly fashion to the front door, or I will shoot you. That means you, mullet.

Tony: You're enjoying this a little too much, aren't you Eugene?
Coyle: Just doing my job.

Don't be seduced by his charm. He's self-centered, a one-man wrecking crew who leaves disaster in his wake.

NCIS Quotes

Bishop: FBI, CIA, NSA - they'd all refer you to me. I am the Parsa expert.
Vance: Just how long has NSA had you on him?
Bishop: Six years, director.
Gibbs: Excuse me?

High-tech case - low-tech ass-kickin'!

Tony