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Leslie: April, stop that. Who are you texting?
April: You.
Leslie: Aww, she's texting me... I'm sorry you're bored.

I passed up a gay Halloween party to be here. Do you know how much fun gay Halloween parties are? Last year I saw three Jonas brothers make out with three Robert Pattisons. It was amazing.

My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.

I love games that turn people against each other.

Donna: You'll never guess what I found on Jerry's Facebook.
April: A friend? Buuurn.

I may not have won, but at least I didn't make any new friendships.

This is an impression of my sister, Natalie.. "Hi, I'm Natalie, I like Ritalin and have low self-esteem!"

I gave my gay boyfriend's boyfriend a hickey and it totally made my gay boyfriend jealous.

April: I had to wait until my dad fell asleep so I could steal his keys. you ready?
Ron: I was born ready. I'm Ron F*%king Swanson.

Displaying quotes 109 - 117 of 117 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Dear frozen yogurt, you are the celery of desserts. Be ice cream or be nothing.

Ron
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