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Parks-and-recreation

His nickname around the office is Softypants McHuggable.

We should sue Jamm's parents for spawning a human turd burger.

Ann: Before I write that letter, you have to spend the week doing everything I say.
April: So what, I have to be your slave or something?
Ann: No, you have to be my friend.
April: Ugh, that's so much worse.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said to Betty Ford, "Hilary Clinton is great!"

I don't know who Ann Taylor is but I hate her and want to kill her.

April: Let's rock this.
Leslie: April, I love you, but I don't need your sarcasm.
April: I'm serious. Let's get rolling, let's get into some garbage!
(to the camera) What? I love garbage.

April: You know what? I think men are better than women.
Ann: She's kidding.
April: No I'm not. They provide for us and we must obey them because they are our masters.

Future home of Paunch Burger? Start drooling, fatties?

When Andy proposed to me, he gave me a ring pop, but he ate it first. How did Ben do it?

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