April: Are you busy? And writing Star Trek fan fiction doesn't count.
Ben: Haha. And I finished that last week.

April, Here's something to remind you of our 3 -legged dog chapion. Also, you are way better at laundry. Can you please do mine and send it back to me? Thanks, Mouse Rat rules! Love, Andy. P.S. Please hurry. I've been wearing a bandana for underwear for 3 days now.

Andy: I'll tell you what honey, here's the deal -- you get fired, I'll
quit too. I'm serious. We'll move to a new city, burn our fingertips
off with acid, swap faces...
April: What?
Andy: If we have to.

Tom: What do you know? You don't care about things.
April: Yes I do. I care about Andy and Champion ... and I want Leslie to win. And I like sleeping.

Gilles: All due respect Miss Ludgate, do you even know what you're doing here?
April: All due respect Mr. Hamster Penis, but no, I don't.

Chris: I'm engrossed in this book. It's the true story of a woman born with no arms and no legs who attempted to swim the English Channel.
April: That's impossible.
Chris: Oh she drowned immediately. It's kind of a sad story.
April: Cool.

I don't want to do things. I want to not do to things like you taught me.

I hate him for this stupid reason.

I dig your groovy tunes man.

Oh I don't know Jerry, it's Sunday night, I'm making phone calls to strangers, and you're in my house. My life couldn't be worse.

I don't care about that prize, but I'm gonna win because I want his happiness to away.

To the better place world, Fred.