Season 2, Episode 12: "The Abyss"
Vince: Just call Cameron.Ari: No go Vinny. You want that? Be a man, you call him yourself.
Vince: You're fired, Ari.
Ari: Not the first time, Vinny
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Season 2, Episode 11: "Exodus"
Ari: Listen, Lloyd, do you want to make it? Or do you want to fold shirts at a Chinese laundry? Now pledge. Nod if you understand what I'm saying.Lloyd: I understand.
Ari: You can't just f**king nod?
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Terrance: All right, let's cut to the chase. I miss this place. I miss the excitement. I miss the action. I'm coming back full time.
Ari: Muhammad Ali came back once too often too, Terrance
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Lloyd: Mr McQuewick's on the phone. He'd like to speak to you.
Ari: To apologize? Send him down?
Lloyd: He wants you to come up?
Ari: He won't come down?
Lloyd: He asked me to send you up.
Ari: He asked you to send me up. Did you tell him that don't send me anywhere? Did you tell him that no one sends me anywhere in this f**king agency? Did you tell him that I send myself where I want?
Lloyd: No, I just said okay.
Ari: You tell him to come down.
Lloyd: He'd like to speak with you
Ari: You see that Lloyd? No surrender.
Ari [on the phone]: Terrance, how are you?
Terrance: Ari, get your ass up here!
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Ari: Lloyd pack up all my files. Pile everything you see into a box. Everything! You see a used condom, an executioners mask, and a goddamned spiked paddle don't think just pack that bitch. Chop Suey!
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Ari: Lloyd, are you with me? Lloyd, what are you doing? You and me we have a special bond. Come on let's go.
Lloyd: Ari, swear to me that will never again say anything offensive to me about my race or sexual orientation.
Ari: I can't swear to that, but I promise I will always apologize after
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Adam Davies: You should be a nicer person. Maybe then people wouldn't screw you.
Ari: You talked, Davies? Hey Adam.
Adam Davies: Yes Ari?
Ari: Just so you know, your girlfriend, when she was in the mailroom, she offered to blow me. True story
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Ari: Ernesto, how many f**king pesos did I give you for Christmas. Huh, Ernesto? Every Christmas for the past decade? Half of Mexico is eating on the tips I've given you. Now bring my motherf**king car now, por favor!
Ernesto: Sorry, Mr. Gold, I can't do it. Oh and Mr. Gold, I'm from Guatemala, and our currency is the quetzal
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Lloyd: Ari, I've worked 18 hours a day to save up the money to put myself through Stanford Business School. While I was there, I cleaned the cafeteria during hours I wasn't studying and still graduated top of my class. Only to take a job delivering mail to unappreciated overpaid little cocksuckers, then to finally get the big promotion that would allow me to answer your phones and be both racially and sexually harassed for the next nine months. But I know the endgame, and you, Ari Gold, you are it! So stop your f**king whining and go into your gorgeous three million dollar house, with your beautiful goddess wife, and figure out how you're going to make both of our lives happen tomorrow!
Ari: That was a good speech Lloyd. Man if I was 25 and liked cock, we could be something
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Terrence: I've always been fair with you.
Ari: You were being fair when you said you were leaving. You coming back, now, is not fair, to me. Not now
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Total Quotes: 388
