As your friend, I support your strange aversion to fun. But as a directed, I'm concerned.

When a man finds his calling, all is right in the world.

He's never late. He runs like an expensive Swiss watch reproduced cheaply in China.

I really want to give you a standing ovation.

I developed my whole persona around conflict avoidance.

You're the hottest girl in school and I wear saddle shoes on legs that don't work.

Artie: Am I about to lose my virginity?
Brittany: Before our deut, we're gonna do it.

Brittany was the only person we could find on short notice. We bribed her with Dots.

Sam: Everything Bieber does is epic.
Artie: Truth.

Will: Rachel have you ever seen a tackle football game? When they tackle, it hurts.
Artie: And not in a good, Mellencamp kind of way.

Artie: I told my parents I only want one thing for Christmas this year: stop friending me on Facebook.

Is the problem your outfit? You look like a cheerleader zombie corpse.

Glee Quotes

[to Finn] You know, I don't really know what's going to happen between us, but I know that you used to be the guy that would make me feel like the most special girl in the whole world, and it doesn't feel that way anymore. Now it just feels sad and confusing. And the worst part is that it doesn't even feel that bad anymore.


I'm engorged with venom, and triumph.