Heather: You know, I really have some strong opinions about polygamy and I would love to sit down and talk to you about it one day.
(Sarah looks down, embarrassed.)
Barb: Wuhh... We should do that sometime

Barb: Who's that?
Bill: Just Nicki.
Barb: Oh. What'd she want?
Bill: No, nothing... She's ovulating

I don't like the sneaking around... Actually, I love the sneaking around, it is so exciting!

Barb [to Peg]

Barb: I'm having an affair.
Peg: With who?
Barb: Bill.
Peg: Your husband Bill?

Barb [seeing Nicki come home with shopping bags]: How's the "family emergency" going?
Margie: Yeah, somebody die at The Gap?

Ben! Go put a shirt on. This isn't a nudist colony, last time I checked

Sarah: Why can't we just hire a babysitter like everyone else?
Barb: Because we're not everyone else

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