Favorite Barney Stinson Quotes
Barney: People often ask me "Barney how is that you're so psyched so much of the time"?
Lily: By who? Who asks you that? edit »
Lily: So where are you from, Natalya?
Barney: She...who knows. The former Soviet republic of Drunk-Off-Her-Ass-Istan?
Barney: Oh, wait, wait, wait. We have to turn around. We left Natalya.
Lily: Barney, none of us really liked her.
Barney: What?!
Lily: Sorry.
Barney: Oh, very nice, Lily. You know, she is a guest in this country. So while you may choose to turn your back on her, I choose to turn my front on her
Your brain screws you up Ted. It gets in the way. It happened with Robin, it happened with half-boob... and it's gonna keep on happening until you power down that bucket of neurosis, inebriation style
Marshall: Aww ... Lilllly ... babieeeeees!
Barney: I hope Ted is miserable right now.
Barney: Rule #83. If anything coming out of that child's mouth lands on me, I get to touch Lily's boobs.
Marshall: Dude, what is it with you and my wife's boobs tonight?
Look at us... it's like three of the same guy. Oh my god, this explains why I was always so good at basketball. Guys, I'm black, sorry African American, no I'm allowed to say both.
Ted, I believe you and I met for a reason. It's like the universe was saying, "Hey Barney, there's this dude, he's pretty cool, but it is your job to make him awesome"
Ted: Yea and say what? What's our big opening line?
Barney: I was uh...."Daddy's home".
Ted: Daddy's home?
Barney: Yeah!
Ted: Okay, you..you want us to go over there, right now, and say to those girls, "Daddy's home." Really think about that, Barney.
Barney: Hmm...yea, I think it's pretty solid
