This isn't just getting laid. This is market research.

Barney: Here's your toast, single file ladies! No fatties!
Ted: That's ridiculous.
Barney: Yeah you're right, it's Cleveland. Single file ladies!

Ted, you want to nail something at this wedding? Lose the Trapper Keeper!

Challenge accepted.

Barney: I got so fat, at the end of the day you'd unhook my bra.
Robin: You were the only boyfriend I ever motor boated.

I wonder what end it's coming out of Lily right now?

New is always better.

Ted: Do you know how many people it takes to change fifty-thousand light bulbs?
Barney: Are these people Irish? Polish? Blondes? What are we dealing with here?

That's how you do an evil laugh! Ciao for now.

Feelin' fine and gettin' some 'Gine

Show me chicken wings!

Jerry: A magician never reveals his greatest trick, but I'll give you a hint. You've gotta meet the right girl. Who knows, maybe you'll meet her tomorrow?
Barney: Maybe I've met her already.

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted