How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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I'm too far gone, I'm broken.

Barney: Hey Jerry, do you really want to be out here like this?
Jerry: Oh sorry small town preacher from the Midwest! Is there a law against dancing?

I finally know what it's like to be embarrassed by my dad.

I want to hang out with Crazy Jerry not Stay at Home Jerome.

My dad will be all, why don't you marry Robin? You guys were cute together. Deep down you know you were never happier than when you were with her.

Tonight's gonna be Leden-Jerry!

Barney: You want to make God laugh, tell him your plans right?
Robin: What is wrong with you?

Random Girl: How can you not remember my name...it rhymes with your name?
Barney: And I said my name was?

Marshall you can't pay your mortgage with hacky sacks and good vibes.

No you were right. A kid needs a hoop.

J.J.: I got a paper route.
Barney: Bah! Good time to get into print media right Dad?

Ted this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here...don't ask you're not ready.

Displaying quotes 157 - 168 of 657 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney