Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Barney: You know what would kick ass?
Ted: Being gay?
Barney: Being gay!

Why wouldn't I be all right? Barney is single again, it's what America has been clamoring for.

Uh lets see, suits, laser tag, I say "wait for it" a lot, that's pretty much it.

Robin: I'm such a mess. Why do you even like me?
Barney: I guess cause you're almost as messed up as I am.

Barney: What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: Two wrongs don't make a right?
Barney: No that's not it.

I'm going to like the way I look. I guarantee it.

Heavens to Gretzky.

Barney: Where is my cash?
Robin: I did a little exchange for you canucklehead.

I want American Scotch from Scotland!

Displaying quotes 118 - 126 of 657 in total