I'm too far gone, I'm broken.

Barney: Hey Jerry, do you really want to be out here like this?
Jerry: Oh sorry small town preacher from the Midwest! Is there a law against dancing?

I finally know what it's like to be embarrassed by my dad.

I want to hang out with Crazy Jerry not Stay at Home Jerome.

My dad will be all, why don't you marry Robin? You guys were cute together. Deep down you know you were never happier than when you were with her.

Tonight's gonna be Leden-Jerry!

Barney: You want to make God laugh, tell him your plans right?
Robin: What is wrong with you?

Random Girl: How can you not remember my name...it rhymes with your name?
Barney: And I said my name was?

Marshall you can't pay your mortgage with hacky sacks and good vibes.

No you were right. A kid needs a hoop.

J.J.: I got a paper route.
Barney: Bah! Good time to get into print media right Dad?

Ted this is your seduction lounge. Sex swing here, vibrating jello pit right there, rotating Vietnamese shame wheel right here...don't ask you're not ready.

HIMYM Quotes

Barney: Ladies and gentlemen, I have in my hand a copy of tonight's Top Ten list. The category: top ten things I would've called my truck...
Ted: It was never your truck.
Barney: if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back.
Ted: It was a rental.
Barney: Number ten, "The Winne-Bango." Number nine, "The Pick-Up Truck." Number eight, "The Ford Explore Her." Number seven, "The You Scream Truck." You Scream. (they all laugh) Number six, "Feels on Wheels!" Hello! Number five, "The Ride Her Truck." Number four, "The 18-Squeeler." Number three, "The Esca-Laid." Number two, "The Slam-Boney." and... the number one thing I would've called my truck if Ted hadn't been a jerk and given it back... "The '69 Chevy."

Sometimes things have to fall apart to make way for better things...we're done here.

Ted