Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

Barney: Come on, Barney Stinson always turns it around.
Marshall: How?
Barney: Simple, I turned...it...around.

I've been waiting two months for that bowl of ice cream and tonight I'm gonna have sex with it.

Nora: Forgot my raincoat.
Barney: That makes one of us.

Oh my god they're six minutes into the date! Ted has probably already told her that he loves her! We gotta get down there!

Robin: The bitch is hiding something!
Barney: Totally hiding something!

Thanks Canada!

So you're the therapist. You know it's one thing to pretend to be a therapist and bang your patients, that's normal, but to do it for real? Little creepy bro.

Barney: Studies show that 83% of all college students desperately need, Sex Lessons!
Ted: Barney these are eighteen year olds!
Barney: Ted, these are eighteen year olds!

It's like watching The Breakfast Club on TBS.

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