Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

I want to be confused with you.

Barney: Never ever meet a girl's parents.
Ted: Not even if she is hot?
Barney: Not even if her mom's hot?

Barney: The N'Sync concert?
Ted: 1998 Cleveland's Agora Theater, front row, caught JC's shirt, what else you got

Nora: I'm sorry I've been trying not to stare at your chest all night.
Barney: Hahaha, what's that like?

Cardiologist: What happened at 8:46 PM last night.?
Barney: Well let's see, Wheel of Fortune, naked push ups, naked chin ups... oh I was at dinner.

Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel, because she's got brothers.

Lily: Ooo Barney's got feelings for a girl.
Barney: Yeah, penis feelings!

And I thought Pompeii was smoking.

With great penis comes great responsibility.

I'm Barney Stinson, I don't get smitten, I smite!

We're exes, we're probably due for a back slide, or we could just do it the normal way.

Lily: You should work at a carnival.
Barney: I tried; they're pretty strict with backgrounds.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 657 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney
×