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How-i-met-your-mother

I want to be confused with you.

Barney: Never ever meet a girl's parents.
Ted: Not even if she is hot?
Barney: Not even if her mom's hot?

Barney: The N'Sync concert?
Ted: 1998 Cleveland's Agora Theater, front row, caught JC's shirt, what else you got

Nora: I'm sorry I've been trying not to stare at your chest all night.
Barney: Hahaha, what's that like?

Cardiologist: What happened at 8:46 PM last night.?
Barney: Well let's see, Wheel of Fortune, naked push ups, naked chin ups... oh I was at dinner.

Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel, because she's got brothers.

Lily: Ooo Barney's got feelings for a girl.
Barney: Yeah, penis feelings!

And I thought Pompeii was smoking.

With great penis comes great responsibility.

I'm Barney Stinson, I don't get smitten, I smite!

We're exes, we're probably due for a back slide, or we could just do it the normal way.

Lily: You should work at a carnival.
Barney: I tried; they're pretty strict with backgrounds.

Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 657 in total

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney
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