How I Met Your Mother

Barney Stinson Quotes (Page 22)

Barney: Magic phone guys - magic phone.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: I've enlisted Ranjit's services as my personal driver because for the next week I'll be sleeping with hundreds of women and I don't want to take the subway because, you know - germs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Keep your eyes peeled for a red sweater. Based on her texts, she's dirty, dyslexic, and wants to 96 me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Jim, there's nothing routine about the way I get down.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney's boss: I know this week has been tough on you.
Barney: I barely slept.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Thanks Jim, I couldn't have done it without my teammates.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: Whatever girl I'm pointing to right now - I am going home with her tonight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: That woman nursing a Black Russian is about to chase it with a White American!
 • Rating: Unrated

Barney: And there's about to be one more story - I'm gonna bang Jenkins.
Ted: Wait you want to have sex with Jenkins?
Barney: With Jenkins, on Jenkins, near Jenkins - you name it. I wanna wear Jenkins like a sock.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: (about picking world peace over his suits) I'm gonna stop you right there. It's the suits. Come on, Lily, get your head out of your ass.
 • Rating: Unrated

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