Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
Prime_large
How-i-met-your-mother

Oh my god. I'm eight years old again and life is perfect and I haven't peed my shorts in front of 350 Webelos at the Pine Wood Derby Regionals in Wheeling, West Virginia.

Barney: We're gonna make a great team. We just need some practice.
Robin: Yeah let's prove that we believe in marriage by workin together to help Marshall hide something from his wife!

Lily: I'm not paying for room service The Hooker ordered.
Barney: I've been there.

Alright I'll take a lap dance. Can I borrow some sweatpants?

Barney: Our minister just died.
Robin: We can still use the church but we only have two days to find a new officiant.
Barney: Unless! Wedding at Bernie's!
Robin: We're not doing wedding at Bernie's!

Reverend? More like Neverend. Prayer Five!

Every hookup at a weekend wedding is decided at Friday Night Drinks. Get stuck with the wrong girl, the only action you'll be getting all weekend is a self five and I don't mean the cool kind.

The Bro Code has been around for centuries. Nay, whatever's more than centuries.

Ted: So, you are mad about me and Robin holding hands.
Barney: Of course I'm mad Ted. Holding hands is like the fourth grade equivalent of banging. Well in your case, twelfth grade. Self five!

Ted: Billy Zabka's your new best man?
Barney: He's the best, around. Sorry Ted, maybe next wedding.

Robin: I can't believe my great grandparents still do that
Barney: And I never imagined a walker being used for anything other than walking.

Barney: You avoiding the family too?
James: I'm gay, I'm black and I'm getting a divorce. Those walking skeletons are gonna have more questions for me than their pharmacists.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 657 in total

HIMYM Quotes

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney
x Close Ad