How I Met Your Mother

Barney Stinson Quotes (Page 3)

Ted: Barney, you've really grown up, you know that?
Barney: Thanks, now lets watch our two best friends have sex on tape!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: To the outdated viewing device!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Do you think that if we did it...and I did a really good job...that I could turn that into my baby?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Oh God I am so hungover! Oh God, Lily's not wearing a bra!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Get, drunk, of course! Good circling Ted.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Ted, tonight is gonna be Epic- wait for it...Dary! Wait that's not it, how do I usually say it? Ugh I hate this Quinn girl!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Where has this heavenly vehicle been all my life? Can you hear it's inspiring chant Ted? I think I can get laid, I think I can get laid, it's the little engine with wood!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: Come on Robin, it's my penis we're talkin' about! You've seen her, she's magnificent!
Robin: She?
Barney: Every penis is a girl Robin. Everyone knows that, like ships...and lake monsters.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Barney: For God's sake Lily, you're pregnant! For God's sake Ted, Lily's pregnant!
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Barney: Ted, when they serve alcohol at a strip club, you're not allowed to show your vagina.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Are we missing your favorite quote from "?" Submit it here and get points for adding quotes!