How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother

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Barney Stinson Quotes (Page 32)

Season 4, Episode 13: "Three Days of Snow"
Ted: So, how many people are in on this Party School Bingo thing?
Barney: Oh, it's just me.
Ted: So what's the point, then?
Barney: The point is to get five in a row.
Ted: And what do you get when you get five in a row?
Barney: I get Bingo
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Brunette: I don't know if you guys have ever seen Star Wars, but it's like Hoth out there.
Ted: Dibs.
Blonde: It reminds me of when I used to go sledding with my dad—before he left.
Barney: And dibs
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 12: "Benefits"
Barney: So I explained to her, I said Madelin, every single international conflict essentially boils down to sexual tension
Ted: Every international conflict?
Barney: Every single one, dude
Ted: So the crisis in the middle east could be solved by?
Barney: Gaza Strippers. Next.
Ted: Apartheid?
Barney: Apart Thighs? What else you got?
Ted: Cold war.
Barney: Ms. Gorbachev, Take Down Those Pants
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 11: "Little Minnesota"
Barney [spins around on chair]: Why, hello, I've been waiting for you.
Ted: Wait a second, that's not our chair. Did you bring that chair yourself?
Barney: I needed one that swivels
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 10: "The Fight"
Marshall: You know what, Doug, I will gladly pay. And you know why? Cause that's what grown-ups do! They pay for their drinks and they don't get into fights. You know what I was doing while you guys were out there being immature? I tell you what I was doing...
Barney: ...your nails?!
Marshall: Haha, No, I was doing...
Ted: ...a relationship-quiz in this month's Cosmo?!
Marshall: No, I was doing...
Barney: Your best not to cry when Big came back for Carrie at the end of the Sex and the City movie?!
 • Rating: Unrated
Season 4, Episode 9: "The Naked Man"
Barney [referring to the naked man's success]: All these years I've been suiting-up when I should've been suiting-down
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 8: "Woooo!"
Barney: I know. We are Swedish. We are so cool with our baguettes and our Eiffel Tower.
Marshall: Dude, Sweden is not France, you know that, right?
Barney: Oh, it's France!
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Season 4, Episode 7: "Not a Father's Day"
Barney: God, it's me, Barney. What up? I know we don't talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me. Awesome
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Marshall [looking inside Barney's "Not a Fathers Day" card]: It appears to be some sort of Asian hooker.
Barney: Yes, because on Not a Fathers Day, you get a Thai you'd actually wear! Wordplay five!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Barney [referring to possibly impregnating a woman]: Lily, no part of Barney Stinson does less than 110%. If one of my Michael Phelps' got loose, he's goin' for the gold!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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Total Quotes: 554
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