Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

No Robin, I am not going to a strip club, especially right now. Can you imagine the day shift at the Crab Shed?

Barney: Our wedding is gonna be legendary.
Robin: No wait for it?
Barney: I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore.

You know how I found out that I'm one quarter Canadian, but I've completely blocked it out because your country is ridiculous and I'm awesome?

Robin: A week from today we are going to be legend, wait for it...
Barney: Married!

Barney: I only have one rule. For every three 10's you bang, throw a bone to a 5. They're grateful and hard working and let's face it, sometimes you just want to lay there.
Laser Tag Kid: What's that got to do with Laser Tag?
Barney: Everything!

Stand up straight Cayden!

You didn't vet the stripper?!?

Shut it Ralph Maccio! Why don't you go have a party with Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter and War Horse and all the other movie bad guys and stop ruining mine!

Hey Ted, what's this I hear slash remember about you not wanting to see Robots vs. Wrestlers?

20 Years From Now Barney

Um a little thing called rigor mortis?

Ah Ted, your first day at the salon and you want to do a cut and color?

Barney: Ted what is my one rule?
Ted: You can tell how old a girl is by her elbows?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Flax seed relieves upset stomach?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Always have a fake pair of concert tickets in your pocket in case Lily invites you to something stupid?
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: Labanese girls sprint to third base and then stay there.
Barney: My other one rule.
Ted: New is always better?
Barney: New is always better!

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 657 in total

HIMYM Quotes

Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it.

Barney

You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours. Forever.

Barney
×