Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

No Robin, I am not going to a strip club, especially right now. Can you imagine the day shift at the Crab Shed?

Barney: Our wedding is gonna be legendary.
Robin: No wait for it?
Barney: I've got you, I don't have to wait for it anymore.

You know how I found out that I'm one quarter Canadian, but I've completely blocked it out because your country is ridiculous and I'm awesome?

Robin: A week from today we are going to be legend, wait for it...
Barney: Married!

Barney: I only have one rule. For every three 10's you bang, throw a bone to a 5. They're grateful and hard working and let's face it, sometimes you just want to lay there.
Laser Tag Kid: What's that got to do with Laser Tag?
Barney: Everything!

Stand up straight Cayden!

You didn't vet the stripper?!?

Shut it Ralph Maccio! Why don't you go have a party with Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter and War Horse and all the other movie bad guys and stop ruining mine!

Hey Ted, what's this I hear slash remember about you not wanting to see Robots vs. Wrestlers?

20 Years From Now Barney
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