Barney Stinson Quotes
Ted: If you want to go lick the Liberty Bell, just go lick it yourself.
Barney: No, it has to be the two of us.
Ted: Why? Why do you need me?
Barney: Because you're my best friend, all right? You don't have to tell me I'm yours. But the way I see it, we're a team. Without you, I'm just the dynamic uno
- Permalink: If you want to go lick the Liberty Bell, just go lick it yoursel...
Ted: Barney, I am going to kill you.
Barney: Don't say you're gonna kill someone in front of airport security. Not cool
- Permalink: Barney, I am going to kill you. Don't say you're gonna kill so...
It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy!
- Permalink: It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lac...
Barney: This is so lame.
Ted: Lame . . . or casual?
Ted: . . . or casual?
- Permalink: This is so lame. Lame . . . or casual? Lame. . . . or casu...
The girl from last night, I took her back to my place, then this morning spun her around a couple of times and sent her walking. She'll never find her way back and there she is!
- Permalink: The girl from last night, I took her back to my place, then this...
Barney: What does Carlos have that I don't?
Robin: A date tonight?
Lily: Ooh, stop the tape, rewind, play it again!
Robin: [makes rewind sound] A date tonight?
Barney: I'm not sure I like her
- Permalink: What does Carlos have that I don't? A date tonight? Ooh, sto...
Barney: Ted, let's rap. Statistics: At every New York party there is always a girl who has no idea whose party she's at. She knows no one you know, and you will never see her again. Do you see... where I'm going... with this?
- Permalink: At every New York party there is always a girl who has no idea w...
Barney: So, it's over between me and... Works-with-Carlos girl.
Ted: Whoa, that was fast.
Barney: Yeah. I was trying to think, "What's the quickest way to get rid of a girl you just met?"
[flashback to about 5 seconds ago]
Barney: I think I'm in love with you.
Works-with-Carlos Girl: What?
[back in the present]
Barney: Thanks, bro!
Ted: Glad I could help
- Permalink: So, it's over between me and... Works-with-Carlos girl. Whoa, ...
Random Girl: Hello, Barney.
Barney: Of course...
Random Girl: You look well. Isn't it weird they invited both of us?
Barney: Who? Who invited you, no one even knows who you are!
Random Girl: I understand, you're hurt, but... you don't have to be cruel. Carlos was right about you.
Barney: Who Is Carlos!?
- Permalink: Hello, Barney. Of course... You look well. Isn't it weird th...