How I Met Your Mother

Barney Stinson Quotes (Page 9)

Barney: February 13th, a magical night, where a Ten has the self esteem of a four and the depraved enthusiasm of a Two.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Barney: Whoa check out that one! Her body is a perfect X.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Barney: It was actually pretty noble of him. He fell on his sword, so that she could fall on mine.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: That family tree of yours has a couple of pretty big coconuts. We had a pretty good time last night and then just hand stuff in the morning so.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Judy: Who got cousin Daphne drunk? She is fifteen.
Robin: They grow them big out here.
Barney: And here's your number back.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Barney: We're gonna get out bro a four star nad rattler. You search knees, feet, banisters, fire hydrants and diving boards. And I'll cover bats, rackets, hockey sticks, golf clubs and riding props.
Ted: What about animals?
Barney: Uh claws, paws, talons, hooves, beaks and clenched monkey's fists, we can do this!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Marshall: Tell him that I might not be able to give him a grandchild? I don't even know how to have that conversation.
Barney: I'll show you. Dad, uh there's something I need to tell you. It's going to come as a bit of a shock. You are speaking to the 2011 Tri County Laser Tag Co Champion.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: How you doing Lily? Should I have a boner?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Lily: How did you do it?
Barney: Oh god you found one of the cameras.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Barney: I can't give this suit back, I glow in the dark. Ted, I finally glow in the dark!
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

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