Barney: You're in a rut.Ted: I'm not in a rut. I have a routine.
Barney: Ted, what is the first syllable in rut-tine?
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Look, our forefathers died for the "pursuit of happiness," okay? Not for the "sit around and wait of happiness." Now if you want, we can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day or you can lick the Liberty Bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it.
Taxi driver: That was beautiful, man
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ted: Why can't we go to McClaran's?
Barney: McClaran's is boring. Let's go to the strip clubs. We're gonna go out, we're gonna meet some ladies, it's gonna be legendary. phone five!
[Barney does a high five with his cellphone.]
Future Ted: I had no idea why I hung out with Barney.
Barney: You didn't Phone-five, did you? I know when you don't phone five Ted! [while motioning with his hand] McClaran's is this much fun. But what I'm offering is the chance to have THIS much fun!
Ted: [also using his hands] See, you always say that, you always say it's gonna be THIS much fun, but it always ends up being this much fun. This much fun is good. It's safe.
Barney: This whole hand signal thing doesn't really work over the phone, does it?
Ted: No, it doesn't
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ted: Don't say legendary. You're too liberal with the word legendary.
[Flashback...]
Barney: We're building an igloo in Central Park. It's going to be legendary! Snowsuit up
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Ted, get in the cab. Marshall, you too.
Marshall: Uh I wish I could but I think me and Lily...
Barney: I understand. [to Ted] Come on!
Ted: Why can Marshall say no?
Barney: Uhh, because he's getting laid.
Marshall: Consistently
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Now, Ted, you can either put the bags on the carousel, or you can wait and listen to me give you a really long speech convincing you to put the bags on the carousel.
[Ted doesn't move]
Barney: ...Ted, since the dawn of time, Man has struggled...
[Ted takes the bags and puts them on the carousel]
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Ted: If you want to go lick the Liberty Bell, just go lick it yourself.
Barney: No, it has to be the two of us.
Ted: Why? Why do you need me?
Barney: Because you're my best friend, all right? You don't have to tell me I'm yours. But the way I see it, we're a team. Without you, I'm just the dynamic uno
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ted: Barney, I am going to kill you.
Barney: Don't say you're gonna kill someone in front of airport security. Not cool
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: It's going to be legen...wait for it...and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant cause the second half of that word is...dairy!
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Barney: This is so lame.
Ted: Lame . . . or casual?
Barney: Lame.
Ted: . . . or casual?
• Show: How I Met Your Mother • Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 315
