How I Met Your Mother > Cast > Barney Stinson > Quotes > Page 8

How I Met Your Mother

Barney Stinson
Quotes

Season 5, Episode 4: "The Sexless Innkeeper"

Barney: Ahh tweed, the official fabric of the eunuch
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

Season 5, Episode 3: "Robin 101"

Ted: Pop quiz. When robin is PMSing what kind of chocolate should youg et her?
Barney: Trick question. Get her butter scotch.
Ted: Correct. Why?
Barney: Butter scotch is to Canadian women what chocolate is to American women
• Rating: 7.3 / 10 • Permalink

Barney: I can't believe I'm taking sexual advice from Ted Mosby, that's like taking fashion advice from well... Ted Mosby
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink

Ted: You were like the worst student in the world, weren't you?
Barney: They said I AD...something... can we have class outside?
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink

Barney: Funny thing, and this is just me, I like my balls attached to my body instead of rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

Season 5, Episode 2: "Double Date"

Barney: I don't come here that often
Waitress: Hey Barney, here's your usual and I'll send you your other usual when she's done stretching
Barney: Thank you kindly, stranger
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink

Barney: Guess who got four tickets to the the origins of chewbaca exhibit?
Lily: Why?
Barney: No, I said who
Lily: I heard you
Robin: Isn't it a little early in our relationship to be doing things that would end our relationship?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink

Season 5, Episode 1: "Definitions"

Barney: I'm always punching guys, girls, I'll even punch a baby, I don't care
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink

Barney: How do you keep a girl from becoming your girlfriend? Simple, the rules for girls are the same as gremlins. Rule number one: never get them wet. In otherwards, don't let her take a shower in your place. Rule number two: keep them away from sunlight. i.e don't ever see them during the day. And rule number three: never feed them after midnight. Meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast with her, ever
Ted: What about brunch? Is brunch cool?
Barney: No Ted, brunch is not cool
• Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink

Barney: You still seeing that guy?
Robin: Even better, seeing him naked
Barney: I shoud go see this Chinese girl I met.. I just had her last night and I already feel like seconds

• Rating: 7.0 / 10 • Permalink

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