Homer: Son, one day you're going to be a great father.
Bart: Aww, and someday you'll be one too.
Homer: Thanks boy, heh heh heh heh heh.

Darcy: I'm very religious that way.
Bart: How religious can you be if you're pregnant.
(Darcy slaps Bart)
Bart: Good answer.

Darcy: Wow, you really are 10. I thought you were just stupid.
Bart: I'm 10 and stupid!

Bart: I want a license.
Mayor Quimby: To kill?
Bart: No, to drive!

Bart: (Crashes through window) Party's over, Serpent.
Wiggum: No kidding, you're standing in the dip.

Bart: Ay Carumba!
(outside the story)
Bart: That's the only line I get in your stupid story?
Lisa: There's no such thing as small parts, just small actors. (Laughs)

Now we have three ways to talk about revenge, although the first two were sort of the same, and even the third would have worked better as a Halloween Story.

Lisa: Uck! This is the most disgusting place we've ever gone!
Bart: What about Brazil?
Lisa: After Brazil.

Homer: Do you think your mother will ever re-marry?
Bart: In about two seconds.
Homer: Why you little--

Martin: Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle, we form a mighty faggot.
Bart: Well said!
(After Martin's line, a title appears: faggot (fag et) n. a bundle of sticks for fuel. [Fr. fagot, a bundle of sticks]

Marge: Bartholomew J. Simpson! How can you be so mean?
Bart: What can you do about it?
(She whacks him on the head with a spoon.)
Bart: Hey!
Marge: I'll whack you with the whole salad set if you don't start thinking about others!

Nelson: Here, take this. (Hands Bart an oxygen tank)
Bart: Where'd you get this?
Nelson: Off some dude.
(We see a dead scuba diver)

The Simpsons Quotes

Larry: What you got riding on this?
Homer: My daughter.
Larry: What a gambler!

Maggie? Oh, you must be sick. Let's see, what's old Dr. Washburn prescibe? Do you have dropsy? The grippe? Scofula? The vapors? Jungle rot? Dandy fever? Poor man's gout? Housemaid's knee? Climatic poopow? The staggers? Dum-dum fever?

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