Marge: Bart, you're too young to get married! You still ask me to check the closet for the boogeyman!
Bart: Well, maybe I've found somebody else to do it for me!

Bart: You know, I thought Darcy and I would be like a real married couple. Instead, we just ended up fighting all the time.
Homer: Yeah, how 'bout that?

Darcy: I'm very religious that way.
Bart: How religious can you be if you're pregnant.
(Darcy slaps Bart)
Bart: Good answer.

Homer: Son, one day you're going to be a great father.
Bart: Aww, and someday you'll be one too.
Homer: Thanks boy, heh heh heh heh heh.

Bart: (Crashes through window) Party's over, Serpent.
Wiggum: No kidding, you're standing in the dip.

Bart: Ay Carumba!
(outside the story)
Bart: That's the only line I get in your stupid story?
Lisa: There's no such thing as small parts, just small actors. (Laughs)

Now we have three ways to talk about revenge, although the first two were sort of the same, and even the third would have worked better as a Halloween Story.

Lisa: Uck! This is the most disgusting place we've ever gone!
Bart: What about Brazil?
Lisa: After Brazil.

Homer: Do you think your mother will ever re-marry?
Bart: In about two seconds.
Homer: Why you little--

Nelson: Here, take this. (Hands Bart an oxygen tank)
Bart: Where'd you get this?
Nelson: Off some dude.
(We see a dead scuba diver)

Marge: Bartholomew J. Simpson! How can you be so mean?
Bart: What can you do about it?
(She whacks him on the head with a spoon.)
Bart: Hey!
Marge: I'll whack you with the whole salad set if you don't start thinking about others!

Lisa: Mom, Bart's drinking coffee!
Bart: It's not coffee, it's hot Pepsi!

The Simpsons Quotes

(Picking out a Tuxedo for Bart. He doesn't look pleased with his puffy shirt tuxedo.)
Bart: (frowning) Isn't this shirt kinda gay?
Clerk: Last time I checked, pirates weren't gay.
Homer: Eww, how'd you check?

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart