The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXBart Simpson Quotes
Mom, even Milhouse has a cell phone. Your son is lamer than Milhouse! What does that say about you?
(Bart's found cell phone rings)
Bart: Hello? Bart Simpson.
Denis Leary: This is Denis Leary, you little puke! When I find you, I'm gonna tear your heart out with two fingers! I know how to do it, too. I learned it for my show.
Bart: Which one? The one that got canceled, or the one that's gonna get canceled?
(Bart is at Lisa's tea party)
Bart: I don't know why I agreed to this.
Lisa: Because you like the taste of my imaginary tea.
Bart: Oh, you're right.
Bart: I'm never gonna have a cell phone.
Lisa: And I'm never gonna go to Machu Pichu. In this family, you get used to disappointment.
I didn't get anybody pregnant. I didn't Facebook a kid to death. Make with my dirt bike!
Bart: You punch really good
Nelson: You think?
Bart: Oh yeah and you always avoid the face around picture day. People really appreciate that.
Nelson: Hey, those memories are forever.
Bart: You really care man. A lot of bullies just phone it in. *cough* Kearney *cough*
Bart: What's your note say?
Lisa: The seven of clubs?
Homer: Tada!
Lisa: Someday when I'm a grownup, maybe I'll go back and look fondly at our house.
Bart: Well stop in and say hi to me because I'll still be there chilling in my basement bachelor pad.
Homer: Make sure to water my backyard grave.
Bart: As long as I can dig you up and stick you on the front porch every Halloween.
Homer: Just don't dress me up as a woman.
Bart: We'll see.
Bart: I'll be the demon. You be the thimble.
Milhouse: Aw, I'm always the thimble.
What was that lesson I learned from video games? Oh yeah. Kill, kill, kill!
Milhouse: Satan's path?
Bart: It's gotta be good if Satan put his name on it.
Bart: I thought we were going to breakfast.
Marge: First, we're visiting grampa.
Homer: No fair, we just went to church.
Bart: So we already heard stories from thousands of years ago that didn't happen.
