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The-simpsons

Bart: Dad, what are you watching?
Homer: I think it's a Terrence Malick movie.

You got star quality, like the Hulk in movies other than The Hulk.

I'll be more attentive to your needs on the seesaw. I'll stay down there as long as you want.

Bart: All you need to know is that I'm a politeness monster who eats "pleases" and farts "thank yous", ma'am.
Lisa: I'm exactly the kind of kid he's pretending to be.

Bart: Looks like Mr. Vanilla just grew some chocolate chips.
Seymour: Save your analogies for the analogy portion of the exam.

Bart: Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail?
Homer: I don't know; feed it to the dog.
Bart: You'd have to wrap cheese around it.
Homer: Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog!

Grampa: Unfortunately, like all true stories, this one has a crappy ending.
Bart: You have a story with an ending.

Oh no, Lisa's face! It's the same.

Lisa: I hope you're happy. You all just wasted your time working your way into an after school class.
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph: Aahhh!

Now to get my comic book and explore a world where no one's mad at George Lucas.

It's Homer before his boobs came in.

Bart: Come on, Dad, you love New York, now that your two least favorite buildings have been obliterated: Old Penn Station and Shea stadium.
Homer: Lousy out-dated relics.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 702 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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