The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.

Pass the gravy, Gloria All-Wrong.

That's the way people talk about Ralph. Ralph, who's favorite color is peanut butter.

Bart: Dad, what are you watching?
Homer: I think it's a Terrence Malick movie.

You got star quality, like the Hulk in movies other than The Hulk.

I'll be more attentive to your needs on the seesaw. I'll stay down there as long as you want.

Bart: All you need to know is that I'm a politeness monster who eats "pleases" and farts "thank yous", ma'am.
Lisa: I'm exactly the kind of kid he's pretending to be.

Bart: Looks like Mr. Vanilla just grew some chocolate chips.
Seymour: Save your analogies for the analogy portion of the exam.

Bart: Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail?
Homer: I don't know; feed it to the dog.
Bart: You'd have to wrap cheese around it.
Homer: Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog!

Grampa: Unfortunately, like all true stories, this one has a crappy ending.
Bart: You have a story with an ending.

Oh no, Lisa's face! It's the same.

Lisa: I hope you're happy. You all just wasted your time working your way into an after school class.
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, and Ralph: Aahhh!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 705 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!