Homer: I'm sorry, Homer Junior. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Bart: Therapy, please.
Lisa: Me too.

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Lisa: Bart, why is the dad I've always wished for creeping me out?
Bart: I don't know, cause you're incapable of experiencing joy?
Lisa: Point taken.

Bart: You have some big underpants to fill. I didn't know they made underoos in size 52
Homer: They're called superoos, son, with pictures of the cast of The Expendables.
Bart: More like The Expandables.

Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.

Pass the gravy, Gloria All-Wrong.

That's the way people talk about Ralph. Ralph, who's favorite color is peanut butter.

Bart: Dad, what are you watching?
Homer: I think it's a Terrence Malick movie.

You got star quality, like the Hulk in movies other than The Hulk.

I'll be more attentive to your needs on the seesaw. I'll stay down there as long as you want.

Bart: All you need to know is that I'm a politeness monster who eats "pleases" and farts "thank yous", ma'am.
Lisa: I'm exactly the kind of kid he's pretending to be.

Bart: Looks like Mr. Vanilla just grew some chocolate chips.
Seymour: Save your analogies for the analogy portion of the exam.

Bart: Dad, what would you do if you got my ear in the mail?
Homer: I don't know; feed it to the dog.
Bart: You'd have to wrap cheese around it.
Homer: Don't you tell me how to feed you to the dog!

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa