Remember when this country didn't suck? Cuz I don't.

Bart: I want you to binge watch all the shows you've ever done.
Krusty: I've never said no to a binge.

A minute of fun a lifetime of work. I've never heard of a pregnancy like this.

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Marge:You can live with your no good son.
Bart: Hey, what did I do?
Marge: Nothing for thirty years. You're perfect for each other.

Bart: Don't want to be seen with you when you're hitting bottom.
Lisa: At least we hope it's bottom.

Marge: Don't you think the parts that aren't evil, are a little...pretentious.
Bart: Absolutely...we're talking about Lisa, right?

Bart: Homer, Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?
Homer: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.

Homer: I'm sorry, Homer Junior. You'll occupy an idealized place in my heart that no one can ever quite fill.
Bart: Therapy, please.
Lisa: Me too.

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Lisa: Bart, why is the dad I've always wished for creeping me out?
Bart: I don't know, cause you're incapable of experiencing joy?
Lisa: Point taken.

Bart: You have some big underpants to fill. I didn't know they made underoos in size 52
Homer: They're called superoos, son, with pictures of the cast of The Expendables.
Bart: More like The Expandables.

Homer: Boy, why are your friends so dirty?
Bart: Dunno. Why are your friends such drunks?
Homer: Touche.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...