It's Homer before his boobs came in.

Bart: Come on, Dad, you love New York, now that your two least favorite buildings have been obliterated: Old Penn Station and Shea stadium.
Homer: Lousy out-dated relics.

Without awards show, how would I know what movie has the best beheading or that Glee is a comedy?

Bart: But where does the ship stop again?
Homer: I don't know. A lot of barefoot kids kicking soccer balls, shell necklaces, they really hit the poverty nicely.

Homer: Finally, a supermarket with a clear premise - island something. Bart: It's like going to Hawaii without all the murderous locals.

Luckily, she doesn't know that our viewing platforms are multi.

From now on I'll dominate you in ways you don't realize.

I dump on you, and you take it. That's how friendship works.

I've been acting like a 10 year old the last 30 years, but I swear i'm going to grow up and act 20 like a divorced 40 year old should.

Who cares what we look like in whatever stupid year this is.

People also lover a quitter. Sarah Palin. The Beatles.

Jimbo: Your fists are sisters?
Dolph: Yeah, Pocahontas and Sacagawea!
Bart: Nice save.

The Simpsons Quotes

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.


Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!