I've been acting like a 10 year old the last 30 years, but I swear i'm going to grow up and act 20 like a divorced 40 year old should.

Who cares what we look like in whatever stupid year this is.

People also lover a quitter. Sarah Palin. The Beatles.

Jimbo: Your fists are sisters?
Dolph: Yeah, Pocahontas and Sacagawea!
Bart: Nice save.

I'll get one those jobs where you don't need to read. Like french fry maker or general.

Developer: I have twins I've never met.
Bart: When you meet them tell them your game is too easy.

Bart: To sweeten the deal, I'll pick you first for basketball.
Martin: To be a mathlete without the 'm.'

Milhouse: I need that [cootie] shot, my dog and I accidentally touched tongues.
Bart: How is this accidentally when it's the fifth time?

Traitor. How dare you betray me on me on the planet that got me laid?

Marge: I take your sugary sweets and give you healthy items...
Bart: This is exactly why kids need a union.

I thought teachers only went outside to smoke and cry.

Same garbage, different dumpster.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.