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The-simpsons

Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now.
Bart: What? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer, who the hell are you?
Bart: Me? Uhh, I'm Ahmed Adoodie.
Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoodie. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoodie?
Chloe O' Brian: Ahmed Adoodie, wealthy Saudi financier, disappeared into Afghanistan in the late 90's.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack. It's a joke name. You're being set up.
Jack Bauer: Dammit!

Son of a beachball, they escaped.

I miss Santa's Little Helper. I wanted him to be a police dog, but now he has no time for me. I even have to eat my own homework.

Bart: Hey Lis, wanna touch Strangles? He's not slimy at all, he's scaly.
Lisa: (After touching the snake) Eww! He is slimy!
Bart: That's because I soaked him in slime!

Oh man! It's like the chemicals cut one!

Farmer: Wagon wheels were the Internet of the 19th century!
Bart: Really?
Farmer: No.

(About his new python) He is so awesome I already love him more than Lisa!

Why am I sleeping when right next door is every kid's dream - - a fat, suggestible, zombie dad?

Homer: I can't wait for my first fire. Is that one?
Lisa: That's just someone barbecuing.
Homer: Is that one?
Bart: That's a guy with red hair.

Milhouse: I got it! I got it!
Bart: (catching the ball) I hogged it! I hogged it!

Lisa: Bart, come with me. I'll take you to someone who will make you feel better.
Bart: Is it my rabbit, Cottontail? The one who went to live upstate?
Lisa: He died, Bart. Dad buried him in the backyard. But not in that order.

Bart: Anything I can get for you, Lady Milhouse?
Milhouse: I'm not a lady! It's a spell! A spell you said you'd reverse!

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 702 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

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