I've got a man down! Well, not a man, a very special boy.

</i> Bart

Bart: I might be able to stop them, but I need a schematic of Jimbo's house!
Lisa: Jimbo drew a couple pictures of his house in second grade, but I can't vouch for their accuracy. The teacher gave them a frowny face.

Skinner: Okay, you have a deal, you conniving little (whispers in Bart's ear)
Bart: Wow, that's a swear!?
Skinner: Used as a noun, it is.

Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now.
Bart: What? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer, who the hell are you?
Bart: Me? Uhh, I'm Ahmed Adoodie.
Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoodie. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoodie?
Chloe O' Brian: Ahmed Adoodie, wealthy Saudi financier, disappeared into Afghanistan in the late 90's.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack. It's a joke name. You're being set up.
Jack Bauer: Dammit!

I miss Santa's Little Helper. I wanted him to be a police dog, but now he has no time for me. I even have to eat my own homework.

(About his new python) He is so awesome I already love him more than Lisa!

Farmer: Wagon wheels were the Internet of the 19th century!
Bart: Really?
Farmer: No.

Oh man! It's like the chemicals cut one!

Bart: Hey Lis, wanna touch Strangles? He's not slimy at all, he's scaly.
Lisa: (After touching the snake) Eww! He is slimy!
Bart: That's because I soaked him in slime!

Homer: I can't wait for my first fire. Is that one?
Lisa: That's just someone barbecuing.
Homer: Is that one?
Bart: That's a guy with red hair.

Why am I sleeping when right next door is every kid's dream - - a fat, suggestible, zombie dad?

Milhouse: I got it! I got it!
Bart: (catching the ball) I hogged it! I hogged it!

The Simpsons Quotes

(Squishing an ice cream to his forehead) I'm a unitard!

Ralph

Kent Brockman: When cat burglaries start, can mass murders be far behind? This reporter isn't saying that the burglar is an inhuman monster like the Wolfman, but he very well could be. So, professor: would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
Professor: Yes I would, Kent.