I've got a man down! Well, not a man, a very special boy.

</i> Bart

Bart: I might be able to stop them, but I need a schematic of Jimbo's house!
Lisa: Jimbo drew a couple pictures of his house in second grade, but I can't vouch for their accuracy. The teacher gave them a frowny face.

Skinner: Okay, you have a deal, you conniving little (whispers in Bart's ear)
Bart: Wow, that's a swear!?
Skinner: Used as a noun, it is.

Jack Bauer: Chloe, I need those schematics now.
Bart: What? Who is this?
Jack Bauer: I'm Jack Bauer, who the hell are you?
Bart: Me? Uhh, I'm Ahmed Adoodie.
Jack Bauer: Chloe, find out all you can about Ahmed Adoodie. Does anyone there know Ahmed Adoodie?
Chloe O' Brian: Ahmed Adoodie, wealthy Saudi financier, disappeared into Afghanistan in the late 90's.
Jack Bauer: Really?
Chloe O'Brian: No, Jack. It's a joke name. You're being set up.
Jack Bauer: Dammit!

I miss Santa's Little Helper. I wanted him to be a police dog, but now he has no time for me. I even have to eat my own homework.

(About his new python) He is so awesome I already love him more than Lisa!

Farmer: Wagon wheels were the Internet of the 19th century!
Bart: Really?
Farmer: No.

Oh man! It's like the chemicals cut one!

Bart: Hey Lis, wanna touch Strangles? He's not slimy at all, he's scaly.
Lisa: (After touching the snake) Eww! He is slimy!
Bart: That's because I soaked him in slime!

Homer: I can't wait for my first fire. Is that one?
Lisa: That's just someone barbecuing.
Homer: Is that one?
Bart: That's a guy with red hair.

Why am I sleeping when right next door is every kid's dream - - a fat, suggestible, zombie dad?

Milhouse: I got it! I got it!
Bart: (catching the ball) I hogged it! I hogged it!

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Mr. Burns: Oh, and one more thing: you must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
Smithers Actually sir, we found the jade monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
Mr. Burns: And the road maps, and ice scraper?
Smithers: They were in there too, sir.
Mr. Burns: Excellent! It's all falling into place...