The Simpsons

Bart Simpson Quotes (Page 7)

Homer: Hey, boy. Whatcha' doin?
Bart: Experimenting with my butt.
Homer: Heh heh heh. My little Einstein.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Marge: Bart Simpson, are you a druggo?
Bart: No! Not until you raise my allowance.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart: How'd a pull up like you get a great card like that?
Ralph: My not-dead grandma sent it from Tokyo.
Bart: Ralph, I will play you for that card.
Ralph: Okay, but if I win, you'll have to teach me how to play this game
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: I don't even remember if Dylan is a boy or girl.
Marge: Of course, you do. Dylan is a ... let me check the invitation, fish theme, that tells me nothing!
 • Rating: Unrated

Marge: Play with Lisa.
Bart: You don't play with Lisa, you play despite her.
Lisa: Bart, I'm not thrilled either, but one day we might need each other for a transplant so we better keep the lines of communication going.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Quit going for my groin.
Israeli Girl: No groin, no Krav Maga. Hello groin.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Bart: You don't fight like a girl, or even a Milhouse.
Israeli Girl: I don't know what is Milhouse.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bart: Why am I running from a girl? Hey call me when you're old enough for a Bat Mitzvah and I'll send you an envelope full of nothing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Hoomer [seeing Bart taking out paper from the Wailing Wall]: Hey boy, we're supposed to be acting religiously, what are you doing?
Bart: Reading prayers and ignoring them, just like God.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bart [about Skinner]: Hey, Willie, does he taste like failure?!
 • Rating: Unrated

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