The Simpsons

Sundays 8:00 PM on FOX
The simpsons
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Darcy: I'm very religious that way.
Bart: How religious can you be if you're pregnant.
(Darcy slaps Bart)
Bart: Good answer.

Homer: Son, one day you're going to be a great father.
Bart: Aww, and someday you'll be one too.
Homer: Thanks boy, heh heh heh heh heh.

Darcy: Wow, you really are 10. I thought you were just stupid.
Bart: I'm 10 and stupid!

Bart: I want a license.
Mayor Quimby: To kill?
Bart: No, to drive!

Bart: You know, I thought Darcy and I would be like a real married couple. Instead, we just ended up fighting all the time.
Homer: Yeah, how 'bout that?

Marge: Bart, you're too young to get married! You still ask me to check the closet for the boogeyman!
Bart: Well, maybe I've found somebody else to do it for me!

Now we have three ways to talk about revenge, although the first two were sort of the same, and even the third would have worked better as a Halloween Story.

Bart: Ay Carumba!
(outside the story)
Bart: That's the only line I get in your stupid story?
Lisa: There's no such thing as small parts, just small actors. (Laughs)

Bart: (Crashes through window) Party's over, Serpent.
Wiggum: No kidding, you're standing in the dip.

Lisa: Uck! This is the most disgusting place we've ever gone!
Bart: What about Brazil?
Lisa: After Brazil.

Homer: Do you think your mother will ever re-marry?
Bart: In about two seconds.
Homer: Why you little--

Nelson: Here, take this. (Hands Bart an oxygen tank)
Bart: Where'd you get this?
Nelson: Off some dude.
(We see a dead scuba diver)

Displaying quotes 97 - 108 of 706 in total

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Wow, now I see why they call you Miss Hoover. You must have been vacuuming for an hour.

Bart