Bart Simpson Quotes
Bart: Years ago, Stanley DeGroot was a cook here at school. All the kids made fun of him because he never graduated from college.
Kids: Stanley, Stanley, no degree! Two credits short at MIT!
(Bart and Lisa ride dolphins)
Bart: Mine has a cup holder!
Lisa: That's a blowhole!
Bart: You're a blowhole!
Darcy: You look kind of young.
Bart: Uh, yeah, I have that disease that makes you look like an old man, but they gave me medicine for it and I took too much.
Minister: So how many brides are you marrying today, Mr. Simpson?
Bart: Just one.
Minister: (scoffs) What are you, gay?
Darcy: I'm very religious that way.
Bart: How religious can you be if you're pregnant.
(Darcy slaps Bart)
Bart: Good answer.
Homer: Son, one day you're going to be a great father.
Bart: Aww, and someday you'll be one too.
Homer: Thanks boy, heh heh heh heh heh.
Darcy: Wow, you really are 10. I thought you were just stupid.
Bart: I'm 10 and stupid!
Bart: I want a license.
Mayor Quimby: To kill?
Bart: No, to drive!
Bart: You know, I thought Darcy and I would be like a real married couple. Instead, we just ended up fighting all the time.
Homer: Yeah, how 'bout that?
Marge: Bart, you're too young to get married! You still ask me to check the closet for the boogeyman!
Bart: Well, maybe I've found somebody else to do it for me!
Now we have three ways to talk about revenge, although the first two were sort of the same, and even the third would have worked better as a Halloween Story.
Bart: Ay Carumba!
(outside the story)
Bart: That's the only line I get in your stupid story?
Lisa: There's no such thing as small parts, just small actors. (Laughs)