Bart Simpson Quotes
(After the family puts their special items in the safe, smoke begins coming out.)
Bart: What's that comin' out of the safe?
Homer: I don't know--Maybe the Krusty doll accidentally turned on the car's headlights, which focused on the cologne bottle, causing it to boil and soon explode.
Lisa: Dad, that's ridiculous!
(The safe blows apart from the explosion.)
Krusty Doll: What's the deal with this California pizza? If I wanted cheese and fruit--(As it burns from the flames and begins melting)--I'd...have...to...(Melts into a plastic puddle)
Marge: (Devastated when the family album falls apart into ashes) Nooooooo! It's gone! That family album was a record of my accomplishments! It's like what a resume is for a man.
Lisa: I agree, Mom. It's very sad. But we'll have to move on. It's not like we can restage all our family photos.
Marge: (Becoming delighted upon the idea) Restage the photos!
Bart: Lisa you fool, you've doomed us all!
(Marge quickly puts a baby bonnet on him and snaps a shot with her camera as he cries out before she takes a second shot, which is among the first ones seen in the new family album.)
- Permalink: What's that comin' out of the safe? I don't know--Maybe the Kr...
Build a fart, I love it! (Laughs hard)
- Permalink: Build a fart, I love it!
Bart: Lower the draw bridge!
Lisa: What's the password?
Bart: (slowly) I love my sister.
- Permalink: Lower the draw bridge! What's the password? I love my siste...
(Bart and Lisa are playing Ping Pong.)
- Permalink: Ping. Pong. Ping. Pong.
Lisa: Now we can enjoy Boxingham Palace in peace.
Bart: Want to melt it with a hose?
Lisa: Sure I guess, a couple of birds pooped on it over here.
- Permalink: Now we can enjoy Boxingham Palace in peace. Want to melt it wi...
Bart: Years ago, Stanley DeGroot was a cook here at school. All the kids made fun of him because he never graduated from college.
Kids: Stanley, Stanley, no degree! Two credits short at MIT!
- Permalink: Years ago, Stanley DeGroot was a cook here at school. All the ki...
Lisa: What kind of lunch is this? A drawing of a sandwich.
Bart: All I got is Grandpa's medication.
- Permalink: What kind of lunch is this? A drawing of a sandwich. All I got...
They hanged him for murder and buried him in an unmarked grave. When they came back the next day, the whole cemetery was missing!
- Permalink: They hanged him for murder and buried him in an unmarked grave. ...
(Bart tries to reject conversation with his therapist.)
Dr. Swanson: Well, I get paid whether you make progress or not. Why don't we just kill the time playing video games?
Bart: (Sarcastically) Yeah right. I bet you got a bunch of learning games. Why don't you go online and find a boyfriend, while I take a nap?
(Bart turns over and lies down on the couch.)
Dr Swanson: Actually, I just got "Death Kill City II: Death Kill Stories!"
Bart: Whoa! You've got DKCIIDKS?! That one's rated bad for everyone!
- Permalink: Well, I get paid whether you make progress or not. Why don't we ...