South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralFavorite Bebe Stevens Quotes
(While driving through San Jose, Costa Rica)
Cartman: Oh my God, it smells like ass out here.
Miss Stevens: Alright, that does it. Eric Cartman, you respect other cultures this instant.
Cartman: I wasn't saying anything about their culture; I was just saying their city smells like ass!
(During a lightning storm.)
Stan: Oh my god! I just saw Tony Danza!
Ms. Stevens: No, you did not just see Tony Danza!
(In next flash of lightning Tony Danza is sitting with the kids in the circle.)
(about Cartman) Fine! You deserve to die you little bastard!
Ms. Stevens
Cartman: (whacks a monkey on the head with a stick) Bad monkey! Bad!
Miss Stevens: Eric! What the heck are you doing!
Cartman: I'm asserting myself! Like my Mr. Kitty! When he's bad, I say "That's a bad Mr. Kitty!" and I whack him on the head!
Tour Guide: And this is a three-toed sloth.
Cartman: (hits sloth with a stick) Bad three-toed sloth!
Miss Stevens: Eric, for God's Sake! Knock it off! (pulls Eric away)
Cartman: (throws stick at sloth's head, shouting) Respect mah authoro-tah!
Cartman: Wait wait wait CUT. You have to go crazier that than! I mean you have to act like it's freaking Leonardo DiCaprio.
Bebe: We wouldn't give a rat's ass if Leonardo DiCaprio came walking passed us.
Girls: Yeah!
Cartman: Fine, who would you go crazy for?
Girls: (look at each other) MATT LAUER.
Cartman: Ok fine. Pretend that we're Matt Lauer.
Girls: Ok.
Cartman: Ok, roll camera!
(Fingerbang walks passed them, and the girls scream crazily)
Cartman: JESUS CHRIST!!!!
Bebe: I'd want a pot-bellied elephant.
Pip: Yes! I'd pay $50 for one!
(after the GGWK choir has been saved by the deforestation workers)
Ms. Stevens: So, what are you doing out here with all this equipment?
Worker: Oh, we're tearing down the rainforest to make room a lumber yard, do you have a problem with that or something?
Ms. Stevens: Me? Oh no, you go ahead and tear down this whole f**king thing!
I F(bleep)G HATE THE RAINFOREST!
Ms. Stevens
Guide: Don't worry. The snake is more afraid of us than we are of it.
(Snake hisses and wraps itself around the Guide)
Cartman: (sarcastically) Oh yeah. The snake's really afraid of us.
(Snake swallows the Guide whole)
Miss Stevens: Is he dead?
(Guide's skeleton exits the snake)
Kyle: I would say yes.
Ms. Stevens: I'm leaving some pamphlets up here on the desk if anyone is interested.
Cartman: Oh good. We could use some more toilet paper.
Bebe: I want a Starvin' Marvin!
Pip: Yes! I'll pay $50 for one!
Mr. Mackey: Wh-wh-what you need to do, uh, Damien is...is to be overly nice. See, n-no matter how mean the other kids are to you, just don't retaliate. Err, be passive, mmm'kay? That's what I taught the little British boy, Pip, an-and just look at how much the other children like him now!
(scene changes to the playground, a group of kids are gathered around Pip)
Clyde: I bet I could spit the most on him! (spits on his left shoulder
Bebe: Oh, yeah? I bet I could spit in his hair! (spits in his right eye)
Pip: Oh! Nice try! A little higher and you've got it!
