Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Penny: Damn.
Amy: Well, at least, when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.

Raj: Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Bernadette: Heterosexual, my ass.

It's okay, I serve soup to poor people.

Bernadette: Because I'm the one that had it towed.
Amy: You?
Bernadette: Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

Amy: Goodnight, Painting Penny. Goodnight, Real Penny.
Penny: Goodnight, Real Amy.
Amy: You don't have to say goodnight to Painting Amy, because she's never leaving. Bernadette: Goodnight, Real Penny. Goodnight, Transvestite Penny.

Oh, boo-hoo, you're not going to space!

Howard: You know, there's a saying we have at NASA. What makes the right stuff so right is that it always comes home.
Bernadette: Stop talking, Howard.

Penny: He wasn't intellectually stimulating enough.
Bernadette: Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
Penny: Wouldn't help. Zack couldn't even spell NPR.

Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't!

Howard: Two weeks ago I was an astronaut.
Bernadette: Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf. Keep walking.

Uh oh, is someone a little blue?

I'm too small for Twister. And, roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.

TBBT Quotes

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a drink?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."

Sheldon

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.