Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Penny: Damn.
Amy: Well, at least, when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.

Raj: Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Bernadette: Heterosexual, my ass.

Howard: You know, there's a saying we have at NASA. What makes the right stuff so right is that it always comes home.
Bernadette: Stop talking, Howard.

Amy: Goodnight, Painting Penny. Goodnight, Real Penny.
Penny: Goodnight, Real Amy.
Amy: You don't have to say goodnight to Painting Amy, because she's never leaving. Bernadette: Goodnight, Real Penny. Goodnight, Transvestite Penny.

It's okay, I serve soup to poor people.

Bernadette: Because I'm the one that had it towed.
Amy: You?
Bernadette: Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

Penny: He wasn't intellectually stimulating enough.
Bernadette: Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
Penny: Wouldn't help. Zack couldn't even spell NPR.

Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't!

Uh oh, is someone a little blue?

Howard: Two weeks ago I was an astronaut.
Bernadette: Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf. Keep walking.

I'm too small for Twister. And, roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.

Oh, boo-hoo, you're not going to space!

TBBT Quotes

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.