The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Penny: Damn.
Amy: Well, at least, when we do make love, Sheldon won't be thinking about his mother.

Raj: Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Bernadette: Heterosexual, my ass.

Howard: You know, there's a saying we have at NASA. What makes the right stuff so right is that it always comes home.
Bernadette: Stop talking, Howard.

Amy: Goodnight, Painting Penny. Goodnight, Real Penny.
Penny: Goodnight, Real Amy.
Amy: You don't have to say goodnight to Painting Amy, because she's never leaving. Bernadette: Goodnight, Real Penny. Goodnight, Transvestite Penny.

It's okay, I serve soup to poor people.

Bernadette: Because I'm the one that had it towed.
Amy: You?
Bernadette: Didn't see that one coming, did ya?

Penny: He wasn't intellectually stimulating enough.
Bernadette: Couldn't you just fool around with him and then listen to NPR?
Penny: Wouldn't help. Zack couldn't even spell NPR.

Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't!

Uh oh, is someone a little blue?

Howard: Two weeks ago I was an astronaut.
Bernadette: Yeah, well, now you're a Smurf. Keep walking.

I'm too small for Twister. And, roller coasters. And sitting with my feet on the floor. Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes, Mom.

Oh, boo-hoo, you're not going to space!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 99 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon