Scrubs

Bob Kelso Quotes (Page 2)

Kelso: You have the voice of an angel.
Ted and Gooch: Aww, thank you.
Kelso: Not you, Ted.
Kelso: If I were ten years younger, and you were tens year younger.
Ted: It's too late, sir, I already tapped it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D. [about Cole's mother]: You're gonna hit that, aren't you?
Kelso: Like a big rig with no breaks.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Carla: You are not a doctor here anymore. You will not treat yourself anymore. I'm sticking the interns on you
Kelso: Oh come on... hi!
Sunny and Howie: Hi
Kelso: What happened to your sleeve there Tex?
Howie: I sewed an orange on to it
Kelso: I'll take the foreigner
Sunny: Yay! I'm so happy!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elliot: J.D. was sitting in that exact chair when we had our third kiss
Kelso: Oh that is very romantic, I will try not to drill any more farts into it
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Elliot: Dr. Kelso, you do realize you don't work here anymore
Kelso: Look, her husband was an old friend of mine, plus I have forgotten more medicine than you two will ever know. [to Denise] I don't know you but I assume I have you beat because you're blond and rolling with ms reeks of beer
Elliot: It's my hair, okay?
Denise: And watch the lip, grandpa, because you wouldn't be the first old man I beat up
Kelso: I like her, she has girl balls
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kelso: Dr. Reid, when did you become homeless?
Elliot: These are just my cookie pants
Kelso: These are my muffin pants. I've been wearing them since I retired
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s narration: Now it's time to split before he shares something so personal that we're trapped here forever.
J.D.: We should probably get going.
Dr. Kelso: Last thing I expected was to be an old man with no idea what the hell to do with his life.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.'s narration: And then we saw something amazing. Dr. Cox said something nice to Dr. Kelso.
Dr. Cox: When you were the Chief, you were a jackass and a nightmare and I hated you a great deal.
Dr. Kelso: That's a good start.
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: I bet you can't wait to call all your friends and tell them how pathetic I am.
J.D.: Actually, sir, we young people are more into texting these days
 • Rating: Unrated

Dr. Kelso: You know, you hurt my feelings earlier.
Dr. Cox: In my defense, you are a soulless creature from the netherworld who doesn't really have feelings
 • Rating: Unrated

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