Red: You can hit him in the groin.
Bob: You can hit him in the groin with a banjo.

Bob: Hit him with a banjo!
Red: A banjo, Bob?
Bob: Yeah.
Red: Where is he gonna get a banjo?
Bob: I don't know. But I saw a guy get hit with a banjo once, and he went down!

Bob: Midge, you don't know the first thing about having a business.
Midge: But there's no risk, Bob.
Bob: Why not?
Midge: Because it's your money!

Bob: How can you be unfulfilled? I put a roof over your head. I pay the bills. I take care of you.
Midge: Yeah, but what do I do?
Bob: You fill out that sweater real nice!

Red: Okay, Bob, what is it?
Bob: I'm just curious. What's the word on that Hyde kid?
Red: Steven? He's a little rebellious, just needs some direction.
Bob: Apparently he's getting it, Red. I kind of walked into your living room and he and Kitty were in some sort of provocative embrace. I think he's putting the moves on your wife.
Red: Oh my God. Now I've gotta kill him. Get your deer rifle, Bob.
Bob: Hold on Red. I... I... I could have been mistaken.
Red: You know what you saw. Get the damn gun!

Kitty: I don't know if we have enough ice, Eric took a whole tubful.
Red: He took a tub of ice?
Kitty: Oh, the kids are making a volcano!
Midge: Right, that's why Donna left with all the plastic cups.
Red: Plastic cups?
Midge: Sure, plastic volcano cups.
Bob: If I didn't know better, I'd say they were having a kegger! (looks at Red) Oh Jeez!

That 70's Show Quotes

Eric: If my dad catches me copping beers he'll kill me.
Hyde: I'm willing to take that risk.

Kitty: Well, the kids are off. I wonder where they went.
Red: Out of town.
Kitty: How do you know?
Red: I told them not to.