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Lynette: Guys, I'm all for bashing exes, but lets save a little of our hate for his partner in crime, the Other Woman!
Bree: Yeah! You know they're always coming up with this excuses to justify being a home record.
Gabrielle: Exactly, like you wouldn't have been with me if he was getting it at home!
Lynette: Honey, You're the love of my life she's just a runner up
Susan: Oh, look! The baby is doing something really cute!
Gabrielle: She's sleeping.
Susan: Like an angel!
- Permalink: Guys, I'm all for bashing exes, but lets save a little of our ha...
Claude: Damn it Peter! What did I tell you?
Peter: Avoid lust triggers.
Claude: And what is she?
Peter: Oh, don't do this man.
Claude: She's a lust trigger, a lust trigger!
Bree: Oh excuse me, I don't know what that means but could you stop saying it!
- Permalink: Damn it Peter! What did I tell you? Avoid lust triggers. And...
Bree: I think you'd love the opera. The music and the voices, it's just all so passionate.
Peter: Yeah, three hundred-pound soprano seducing balding tenors. That'd be hot!
- Permalink: I think you'd love the opera. The music and the voices, it's jus...
Andrew: Well could you live with a woman who hits you.
Bree: I slapped him once and he deserved it!
Andrew: I just asked her to stop drinking.
Grandpa: (to Bree) You were drinking?
Elenor: She's in AA. Her sponsor has long hair.
Bree: Andrew, I find your concern ironic giving how tanked you were when you ran over our neighbours mother with your car.
Elenor: Is she OK?
Bree: She's dead.
Andrew: Well, mom watched as her boyfriend commited suicide. And he was the same guy who killed dad.
Bree: Andrew falsely accused me of mollestation ... in a mall!
Grandpa: You know the technique works better if you don't talk right away.
- Permalink: Well could you live with a woman who hits you. Bree! I slapp...
Those were some kick a** peanut butter cookies!
- Permalink: Those were some kick a** peanut butter cookies!
Lynette: That's not why you came to apologize is it?
Bree: What do you mean?
Lynette: To soften me up for the deposition...
- Permalink: That's not why you came to apologize is it? What do you mean? ...
Peter: What are you doing?
Bree: I'm just giving you a little kiss.
Bree: Well, it's just my way of saying "thank you" for everything you've done for me in the last few weeks.
- Permalink: What are you doing? I'm just giving you a little kiss. Why? ...
Bree: Peter... But... You forgot your shirt!
Peter: (in a rush) Keep it!
- Permalink: Peter... But... You forgot your shirt! Keep it!
Bree: Peter. Hi, it's Bree.
Peter: Hey, Bree. You know, um, if you feel like you're gonna need a drink, you should call Donna.
Bree: No! No, I, I don't feel like I'm gonna drink. And if I did, I certainly would call Donna. I mean, she and I are just, we're just really clicking.
Peter: Oh, that's good. So why are you calling?
Bree: I know it's really late notice, but a friend of mine, uh, got engaged and she's throwing a party, and I thought, um, maybe you'd like to come.
Bree: Well, you're not my sponsor anymore, so I assume this is allowable. I mean, it's just a casual get-together. And they're having sushi. You do like sushi, don't you?
Bree: Okay, Peter, I just really need us to be friends. When I'm with you, I'm not myself, which is a good thing. I can, I can relax when I'm with you in a way that I can't when I'm with other people. With them, I have to pretend that I have it all together but, you know that I don't, so it's just so much easier. Come on, it's just a, it's just a dumb old party.
Peter: Bree, do not call me again.
- Permalink: Peter. Hi, it's Bree. Hey, Bree. You know, um, if you feel ...
Donna: Now come on!
Bree: Come on?! Where are we going?!
Donna: Hiking! There is nothing like it to take your mind off booze!
- Permalink: Now come on! Come on?! Where are we going?! Hiking! There is...
Peter: I have this rule - plant, pet, person. If I can keep a plant alive, then I can move on to a pet, and if I can make that work, then I can start dating again.
Bree: (laughs)So how are you doing?
Peter: I'm on my fourth ficus.
- Permalink: I have this rule - plant, pet, person. If I can keep a plant al...
Hi. Um, I need some advice from a professional. I'd like to get stinking drunk. Do you have anything that can accomplish that in a hurry?<i>At a bar, Bree walks in and up to the bartender</i> Bree
- Permalink: At a bar, Bree walks in and up to the bartender Hi. Um, I need...