George: He cheated on you. You said you were going to hate him forever.
Bree: You shouldn't listen to a woman who's just had her heart broken. We tend to lie

Rex: Look at you... going out?
Bree: Not that it's any of your business, but I have a date.
Rex: A date... what kind of date?
Bree: Rex, I don't want to say anything that might upset you. The doctor said any more stress could cause another heart attack... It's a romantic date with a single, attractive man and I intend to French the hell out of him

Andrew: Knew what? Well come on, tell me! Because I'd love to know what my father did that was so awful!
Bree: Fine. I will see him through this, but after that, your father can rot in hell for all I care!
Danielle: We're not like other families, are we?
Andrew: No. We're not

Rex: So you didn't tell them about...
Bree: Your adultery? No. I decided to keep that little gem all to myself

Maisy: Oh, Bree. What a nice surprise. Would you like to come in?
Bree: Well, that depends. Are you having an affair with my husband?

Bree: As of this moment, Rex, I am no longer your wife. I am going to go out, and find the most vindictive lawyer I can find, and together, we are going to eviscerate you. I'm going to take away your money, your family, and your dignity. Do you hear me?
Rex: Bree...
Bree: And I am so thrilled to know that you still love me. Because I want what's about to happen to hurt as much as humanly possible. I'm so glad you didn't die before I got a chance to tell you that

Maisy: You're not going to tell a soul. Bree, you may hate me, but you'd hate the humiliation a lot more.
Bree: Oh, I don't hate you, Maisy. I pity you

Bree: Were you with a woman? Did you tell her that you have a wife or does that hinder your pick-up style?
Rex: All right. Even if I was seeing someone, I have every right to. Exploring options is the whole point of being separated!
Bree: Options?! I'm not a mutual fund, Rex

Bree: Hi Danielle. How was school?
Danielle: It was ok.
Bree: Good. Where does Andrew keep his marijuana?

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