Bret Quotes
Jemaine: Bret. Have you seen Keitha?
Bret: She robbed us! Her and her friends jumped me, and taped me to the door.
Jemaine: Did she mention me at all?
Bret: No. Sorry man.
Jemaine: I'm not sure about her and me
Bret: Did you use protection?
Jemaine: Yes, but only on my penis
Murray: Okay, band meeting. Ahh well, Jemaine?
Jemaine: Present.
Murray: Who else we got here? Bret?
Bret: Yep.
Murray: And who else? Mur.. Ray... Oh. Greg's written this, he's put the R's too far apart. It's Murray.. Murray present
Bret: Okay, Dave, do you have any special skills?
Dave: I can make a weapon out of pretty much anything. Like when I'm gardening, some a-hole tries to sneak up and take me out - watering can tied to a hose. (whipping noises) Cops show up, "What's that, officer? Just watering the geroniums."
Jemaine: Bret dissed alot of people in that rap thing that he did.
Murray: Who were these people you were dissing? The only one I could make out was Snoopy! What's your problem with him?
Bret: No, Snoop Dogg.
Murray: Yeah, I know he's a dog, Bret. I'm not totally in the dark ages. I do go out every once in a while. But, Snoopy's lovable! Leave him alone
Murray: Okay guys, notes on yesterday's gig. We got several complaints about the noise. You gotta remember this is in a library. Bear that in mind.
Bret: Yeah, but it's so hard to play there 'cause everyone wants us to be quiet.
Jemaine: They keep shushing us.
Murray: They're trying to read!
Bret: We may as well not be there if we're not gonna make any sound.
Murray: Well, you can make sound, just make it so people can't hear you
Jemaine: It's dark, Bret.
Bret: Yeah, I know.
Jemaine: What expression is on your face?
Bret: Umm. Guilty expression. What expression is on your face?
Jemaine: Sad because we don't have any electricity, but satisfied because I was right about the cup.
Bret: That's a weird expression
Bret: Jemaine, I don't think we're going to get sex and get paid.
Jemaine: Why not?
Bret: 'Cause we never get sex or get paid.
Murray: Bret, you should have a guitar.
Bret: I sold it to pay the bills.
Murray: You can't go on like that! Won't it sound weird with just the 'big guitar' that Jemaine plays?
Jemaine: Bass. It's called a bass guitar.
Murray: Well, I call it the 'Dad guitar' 'cause it's more like (deep voice) "Da da da da - I'm your Dad. Hey Murray, get into the shed and get the mower and do the lawns - de de de." You need Bret's 'Mum guitar' to add the beautiful tones (high voice) "Come on, darling, Murray's okay. Why you get home so late, Gordon?" (deep voice) "I was just havin' a few beers."
Bret: It'll sound fine.
Murray: It won't sound fine, Bret, you've got no guitar! (Bret plays his air guitar) I can hardly hear it! You'd have to be deaf to hear that.
Murray: Bret, could you get a pencil out of my stationary cabinet, please?
Bret: Where's that?
Murray: Just the glove box.
Jemaine: Women love weaving, they love to weave.
Bret: No, weaving is a man's game.
Jemaine: Bret, you put a woman in front of weaving machine and just watch her go.
Bret: No, honestly, my Dad weaves, my grandfather was a weaver... I come from a family of weavers.
Jemaine: I've never seen a man weave.
Bret: I love weaving. I'm weaving at the moment, making a pair of tro
Landlord: I'm going to give you a month to pay me
Bret: Can we pick which month?
Landlord: No
