Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPopular Brian Griffin Quotes
God he must be the coolest fat guy in a train conductor's cap in the world!
You know, it's times like this where I think if I didn't talk and you were a normal baby, we wouldn't have any of these problems.
Brian: You've been hanging out with Tom Cruise?
Stewie: Sure have. We spent the whole day together, and he showed me there are a lot of advantages to being short.
Brian: Yeah? Like what? You're the last one to get wet when it rains?
So I was wondering why this tampon commerical was so long, until I realized it was a rerun of Sex and The City
Brian: OMG, Stewie. What are you doing in the toilet with the lid closed?
Stewie: Ted R. says this is where a piece of crap has to live.
You're like all the worst parts of a girlfriend.
I don't think it's lost on any of us that the laws are writte on white paper.
I'm just saying. It's no surprise that justice isn't colorblind.
You're giving your baby drugs to improve his acting career?
The good news is that now he can go back to being a regular kid.
Not everyone can be as fascinating as you, Brian.
Stewie
Stewie: I want you to come inside me while I'm asleep.
Brian: No, don't say it like that.
