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That was the first 20 seconds of a 40 minute conversation. Very informative.

You look about ready to marry Courtney Love.

Britta [to hungover Jeff]

Okay, if you're going to get all Upper East Side about this I think we're done.

Troy: The last thing I said to him was 'Suck it.
Britta: Me too.

Britta: Then you move to Vermont...
Troy: I'm sick of you saying that fighting is gay.
Abed: You know she has a point, in boxing you fight with a purse and a belt.

Bully: You want to dance?
Britta: Maybe to some show tunes.
Jeff: No, I want to beat the crap out of you and I'm going to enjoy it because you're just like this school: you're obnoxious, you're cramping my style and you smell like french fry oil.

Pierce: Agnostic, the lazy man's athiest. I'm a born again.
Sherry: Oh...
Pierce: We had a re-birthing ritual in my friend's hot tub. I'm now a level five laser lotus in my Buddhist community.
Britta: That does not sound like Buddhism, are you sure you're not in a cult?
Pierce: Just by asking that question, you put me down to a level four. You now owe me 2000 energon cubes.
Troy: Do you know how foolish you sound right now? What else do you believe in, blood transfusions?

Britta: The real reason men fight is to release their pent-up gayness.
Pierce: That guy wasn't gay, he had a mustache.

Jeff: Every piece of that condo is a piece of my life
Britta: Is that a bidet?
Jeff: That part is for resale value and Saturday afternoons

Maybe you're one of those rare people with nothing underneath the surface. Maybe, if you put stain remover on a turd, you don't get a diamond. You just get a turd, with less direction in life

Downgrading your lifestyle is your chance to grow as a person, maybe even become one.

Britta [to Jeff]

Britta: Are you okay? It looks like you have actual bedhead this morning.
Jeff: In fashion, I'm what's known as a taste-maker.
Britta: And you missed an entire side of your face shaving.
Jeff: And next month, so will Gwen Stefani

Displaying quotes 85 - 96 of 113 in total

Community Quotes

Sensible night, appropriate night.
Snow on ground, left and right.
Round yon purchase of decorative things.
Tolerant rewrite of carols to sing.
Function with relative ease,
Function with relative ease.

Shirley [sung to the tune of "Silent Night"]

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.