Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

This room looks like that room on that spaceship when I got probed.

The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.

Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

If we lose, we should throw possums.

Brittany: I have pepperoni in my bra.
Santana: Those are your nipples.

Brittany: Remember: even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.

Because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?

Will: I'm not tossing the baby out with the bath water here.
Brittany: I've totally done that.

Please don't pull out all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.

Will: Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.

Glee Quotes

Rachel: This is what I wanted!
Sam: No, what you wanted was a second chance to get it right and Carmen just gave it to you. If you throw all that away you're going to be making the same mistake all over again

Finn: I seem to recall a rumor about a certain cheerleading coach at this school who once took horse estrogen and posed for Penthouse back in the day. So maybe I can just track that down and make a few copies and sell those to raise money for Regionals.
Sue: That's nothing but a rumor. But if that rumor were true, my Penthouse centerfold so groundbreaking that it completely redefined the term 'hirsute,' and gave birth unto these United States a pose so limber they named it the Regal American Not-So-Bald Spread Eagle, I promise you, my friend, you would never find it.