Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?

I'm pretty sure my cat is reading my diary.

This room looks like that room on that spaceship when I got probed.

The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.

Kurt: She changes her look faster than Britt changes sexual partners.
Brittany: It's true.

If we lose, we should throw possums.

Brittany: I have pepperoni in my bra.
Santana: Those are your nipples.

Brittany: Remember: even the smallest envelope is heavy for an elf.

Because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?

Will: I'm not tossing the baby out with the bath water here.
Brittany: I've totally done that.

Please don't pull out all my teeth. I'll look like an adult baby, but with boobs.

Will: Who can tell me who Christopher Cross is?
Brittany: He discovered America.

Glee Quotes

[to Kurt] You know, these Mounds bars are delicious, but you have to eat them. If you just hold them in your hand hoping that you might get to eat them one day, they're going to melt and you'll look like somebody just pooped in your hand. Don't let waiting for things to maybe work out with Blaine turn you into the guy who looks like somebody just pooped in their hand.

Brittany

Blaine: Where's the bed?
Brittany: I removed it because when I imagined you two having sex I imagined a U-haul mounting a moped.