Tuesdays 8:00 PM on FOX
Glee

I came up with an idea that will make you Snooki famous, but not without all the blackout drinking.

Brittany: You guys, welcome to the first meeting of the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse club.
Tina: Wait, that's what this is?
Sam: Don't worry, it's also the last meeting.

It tastes just like a chicken testicle.

Brittany [on a bull's testicle]

Sam: I know what you're up to. Lip-syncing, beating up Jacob Ben Israel. You're intentionally hitting rock bottom.
Brittany: So I can make a glorious comeback just like Britney. I mean, look at her. She got paid $14 million dollars to be on X Factor, she looks great, and she has an amazing perfume you can smell from miles away. No matter what happened to her, she just came back stronger.
Sam: Consider this the last stop on the Train Wreck Express--an intervention.

Sue: Her chagrin is limited only by the fact that she has a brain the size of a toddler's fist.
Brittany: I can show you the MRI.

They said I have the most gifted mind in a generation.

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