I know I'm more talented than all of you. Britney Spears taught me that.

Artie: We all know you can do it.
Brittany: I know that I can't. Just like I know the cricket that reads to me at night is totally stealing my jewelry.

When you guys fooled around, did he ever just lie there?

Brittany [on Artie]

Mr. Schu taught me the second half of the alphabet. I stopped after M and N. I thought they sounded too similar and got frustrated.

They look like deep fried deep poop.

Brittany [on tater tots]

Mini Rachel: I for one think we should use our set list for Sectionals to start exploring the oeuvre of Bernadette Peters.
Mini Brittany: Someday, I'm gonna go to Paris and visit the oeuvre.

Will: I'm not tossing the baby out with the bath water here.
Brittany: I've totally done that.

Kurt: What are you going as for Halloween?
Brittany: I'm going as a peanut allergy.

I was going to order us one really, really long piece of spaghetti like in Lady and the Tramp. I've been practicing nudging the meatball across the table with my nose.

Artie: I thought I was over someone, but I still think I have feelings for them.
Brittany: The Clintons?

Artie: You've never made eye contact with me.
Brittany: For awhile, I thought you were a robot.

Will: What's a duet?
Brittany: A blanket.

Glee Quotes

You know, the New York Times said, um, half the increase in support of gay marriage is due to generational turnover. That's what smart people call 'crazy, uptight bitches dying.' You guys lost, okay? And honestly the rest of us are just going about our business being normal and waiting for you not to be around, and not because you can stop us from getting married, but because you're kind of annoying.

Brittany

I just want somebody to love me.

Quinn