We're running twenty minutes long so we're cutting the Bollywood number.

Richard Gere, I'll be the officer, don't be a gentleman.

Mitchell: Who signed an agreement for a sixteen year health club membership?
Cameron: You have to spend money to save money.

Shouldn't you get back to Donald? That is the name of your cat, right?

Cam: What are we going to do?
Luke: I could start a fire.
Cam: No! But keep that in your back pocket.

Mitchell: Well, if the shoe fits...
Cam: They don't, they're comically large.

It's ten feet long with boxer shorts on the end, it works on so many levels.

Mitchell: I guess you don't respect party themes.
Cam: You did NOT just say that.

We are beyond blotting and rubbing, we've moved on to sweating and crying.

If this were the '60s, we would be 'confirmed bachelors,' and Lily would be a Yorkie.

You don't tell your partner you may have a baby with someone else and then go back to eating a delicious and inventive meal like it's NOTHING!

Cam: Tell me all about Mitchell in high school. Did he have a beard?
Tracy: You're looking at her.

Modern Family Quotes

That was hardly porn. It was a topless woman on a tractor. You know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial.

Phil

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay