Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

That's a lot of complaining for somebody who asked for thirds of our tandoori turkey last year.

Really, Mitchell? The worst Halloween ever? You had squeaky thighs; I lost a childhood.

Well, my white-man name is Tucker. I am 1/16 Cherokee. Ready for child to soar like eagle.

Disabled inter-racial lesbians? With an African-American kicker? I did not see that coming.

Mitchell: She wants us to buy Lily a Blackberry.
Cam: She doesn't have the dexterity for that!

Cam: I hate your beard.
Mitchell: Wow, you had that bullet in the chamber.

After the earthquake, it might be nice to be around similarly dressed people.

Pepper: I feel like a joke.
Cam: You're not a joke. You're Pepper Salzman!

It was the nineties, we'd just lost Princess Di. I was at sea.

Cam [on dating Pepper]

Mitchell: Nobody kisses at a bowling alley!
Cam: I almost got a turkey!

Cameron: I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high five. Two, gays don't high five.

Mitchell: Aren't you going to change into a working man's outfit?
Cameron: I don't think workmen really call them outfits.

Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 200 in total

Want more Modern Family?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

Modern Family Quotes

Phil: My wife is always so tired and she's always making lists of things for me to do.
Claire: Maybe if you did them she wouldn't be so tired.
Phil: Oh no, she could make lists for days.

I'm sort of like Costco. I'm big, I'm not fancy and I dare you to not like me.

Cameron
x Close Ad