He was a very nice man when we met him, but based on his recent letters I have a small fear he's become a war lord.

I have an uncle that can only wear bell-bottoms. Hand to God.

Cam: People always say I scream Hawaii.
Mitchell: Who says that?
Cam: People...
Mitchell: What people?
Cam: ...You don't know them.

This is a coup. When you get in with Jasper, doors open. He's a legacy at Happy Time Preschool.

Cameron: Did you hear that woman screaming my name?
Mitchell: That was Phil. He had a Red Bull.

Dylan: I don't think we'd like the same music.
Cam: Because I'm gay and only like show tunes?
Dylan: Because you're old.
Cam: Well, that hurt more, Dylan.

Mitchell's new boss: Do you guys surf?
Cameron: Only for bargains on the Web!

Business partners, mergers and acquisitions. Just kidding, we're gay!

I can't pressure Mitchell. But I really, really, really just want him to get a job so I can go back to being a stay-at-home dad/trophy wife.

You're so cute when you're angry with you're little fists. I just want to put you in my pocket.

Oh man, if a spider would have broken in here, he would have been in trouble.

Gloria: This part of town, might be very rough, but the people here, Cameron, are the best!
Cameron: I'm pretty sure I had wheels when I parked here.

Modern Family Quotes

By the way, do not look up peeing games on the internet.

Jay

Claire: My mom started drinking these cocktails called "horny Colombians" with some of Gloria's uncles, whom apparently the drink was named after
Phil: Oh come, they were funny
Claire: They kept grabbing my butt
Phil: Somebody is full of herself. It's a Colombian wedding tradition.. they said